Dear Doug:

You drown the forum in a flood of words,
mistaking volume for a point well made;
each post a sermon wandering nowhere,
each question proof that time taught you no skill.
You play the sage, the host, the wounded lead,
then feign surprise when basics still elude;
a veteran only by calendar’s grace,
who learned to talk but never learned to play.
Your history’s not depth, it’s sediment
layer on layer, dull, unread, ignorant;
you praise, you mourn, you joke, you ramble on,
yet miss the game unfolding underfoot.
So wear the mask of kindness, wit, and care
it cannot hide that nothing’s changed at all.

I would have called this Magnifidoug Dougifesto

Just me. Personal preference.