Jul 22nd 2012, 0:13:00
SAM I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL! I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE! YOU DISGUST ME YOU TRAMP!
Message from Drawtsew Gnibbats (#1718) sent on 07/19/2012 03:32:16
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Did you think you would get away with it? HA! Hardly! Again I say, HA! We will be taking our vengeance very soon, and it will be terrible and swift. Like an avalanche of furious pygmies with contagious toenail fungus, we will fall upon you mercilessly!
Did you know how much ICN sucks? I'll bet you didn't! On second thought, I'll bet you did. In fact, I know you know. I also know that you know that I know, because everybody knows. Even a know-nothing like you! HA!
Your day is coming! Do you see it? It's right over there, hiding behind that lilac bush! See it now? SCARY, isn't it??? I see that you are quaking in your slippers now. It amuses me greatly! At the same time, it makes me a little sad because.. no, I'm kidding. It only amuses me! HA!
Love,
Sam
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Message from Drawtsew Gnibbats (#1718) sent on 07/19/2012 03:34:15
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I just tried to declare war on you, but the powers that be would not allow it, because I am protected. As soon as I find then button to leave protection, you will feel my wrath. I swear it!
Love,
Sam Reply
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Message from Drawtsew Gnibbats (#1718) sent on 07/20/2012 01:41:02
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ENTERTAINING?? WE WILL SEE HOW ENTERTAINING YOU FIND IT WHEN I HAVE LAID WASTE TO ALL OF ICN WITH MY ROCKETS. I WILL PRANCE MERRILY UPON A MOUNTAIN OF ICN CORPSES!
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, I HAVE BECOME A DICTATOR. THIS MEANS THAT I NOW HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TYPING THIS FOR ME. FREED FROM THE TEDIOUS CHORE OF TYPING, MY MIND MAY NOW FOCUS ON PLANNING YOUR EXPLOSION. ARE YOU STILL ENTERTAINED? I THOUGHT NOT!
I HAVE ALSO JOINED THE FEARSOME CLAN, "DANGER"! TO US, YOU ARE LIKE A HAPPY fluffY BUNNY, DRESSED UP IN A SQUIRREL SUIT. BUT WHAT YOU FAIL TO REALIZE IS THAT SQUIRRELS DON'T LOOK GOOD IN SUITS. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A SQUIRREL WEARING A TIE? NO, YOU HAVE NOT! BECAUSE EVEN A SQUIRREL, WITH HIS TINY BRAIN, REALIZES THAT HE LOOKS STUPID WEARING A TIE!
HA!
SAM Reply
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Message from Drawtsew Gnibbats (#1718) sent on 07/21/2012 16:05:44
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THE CAPITAL LETTERS ARE AN INDICATION OF THE FURY OF [DANGER]! TO US, YOU ARE AN IRRITATING PIMPLE ON TOP OF A BOIL ON THE LEFT ELBOW OF A SYPILITIC LEMUR. WE HATE MONKEYS, AND SO WE HATE YOU. ARE YOU BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND? WE DOUBT IT.
WE ARE A RAGING RIVER OF FURY, POURING INTO A VAST OCEAN OF ANGST. WE ARE A GLACIER OF ANGER, GRINDING YOU GRADUALLY INTO TINY BITS OF ROCK. EXCEPT WE ARE QUITE A BIT FASTER THAN A GLACIER, AND YOU ARE SIGNIFICANTLY SOFTER THAN A ROCK.
WE ARE aDAMANTLY aPATHETIC TO YOUR PLEAS FOR MERCY.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? NO, I CAN SEE FROM THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE THAT YOU ARE STILL cLEARLY cONFUSED. NO MATTER, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND IN TIME. OR PERHAPS YOU NEVER WILL UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE.
HA!
SAM Reply
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Message from Drawtsew Gnibbats (#1718) sent on 07/21/2012 19:25:10
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I HAVE JUST RETURNED FROM A MEETING WITH THE COMMITTEE OF ONE, AND WE ARE VERY ANGERED BY YOUR LAST CORRESPONDENCE WITH US.
PERHAPS YOU DID NOT NOTICE, BUT WE HAVE INCREASED OUR POWER TWENTYSIX-FOLD IN JUST TWO DAYS. IF THIS TREND CONTINUES, AS WE FULLY EXPECT IT WILL, WE WILL OVERTAKE YOU IN A MERE 4 DAYS. ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THAT? HAVE YOU MADE PEACE WITH YOUR MAKER? ARE YOU WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR? SOON WE WILL BE sTABBING wESTWARD IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION, FOREST ANIMALS FLEEING IN FRONT OF US, A CLOUD OF DESPAIR IN OUR WAKE! WOE TO YOU FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!
WE HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU ONE LAST CHANCE. AN OLIVE BRANCH IF YOU WILL, BUT ALL OF THE OLIVES HAVE BEEN EATEN FROM IT.
YOU MUST WEAR THE TAG OF THE MIGHTY CLAN, [DANGER]! FOR A PERIOD OF NO LESS THAN 71 HOURS. DO IT, AND YOU WILL BE SPARED. DO IT NOT, AND YOU WILL DIE. NOT TODAY, BUT VERY SOON. AT LEAST BEFORE LABOR DAY, IF NOT SOONER.
WE EAGERLY AWAIT YOUR CAPITULATION.
HA!
SAM
