HA!

THAT WOULD INVOLVE SPRINGING EL CHAPP- I MEAN BILL FROM HIS "RETIREMENT COMMUNITY" IN FLORENCE COLORADO. IF I CAN CATCH SAM IN BETWEEN DOSES OF HIS MEDICATION I WILL REQUEST THAT THE INFINITE MONKEYS RECONVENE TO READ THE TEA LEAVES AND POSSIBLY HELP ME WITH MY NCAA TOURNAMENT BRACKET.

JIM_DANGER,
OFFICIAL FACEBOOK REUNION PLANNER
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|*

*(a subsidiary of TacoCorp, LLC)

-THIS MESSAGE WAS AUTO-GENERATED BY MY 2007 BLACKBERRY PEARL WHICH HAS ACHIEVED SENTIENCE. PLEASE DO NOT ENCOURAGE IT BY RESPONDING

1,260 DAYS AND COUNTING. THERE WILL BE MORE THAN JUST STICKERS, THERE WILL BE CAN KOOZIES AND MONOGRAMMED THUMB DRIVES AS WELL!

JIM DANGER
DANGER EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF CHEAP CONVENTION SWAG
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|*








*a wholly owned subsidiary of TacoCorp

HA! I APPROVE OF THIS! AS LONG AS MANY EXPLOSIONS ARE BEING HAD BY ALL THE WORLD IS AS IT SHOULD BE. EVEN ANKLE BITERS CAN BE EXPLODED FOR THE GLORY OF THE INFINITE MONKEYS!

JIM DANGER,
DANGER HEAD OF POINTLESS POSTING PONTIFICATION
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|*


*a wholly owned subsidiary of Taco Corp.

IN 1,586 DAYS, ALL QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED, ALL RIGHTS WILL BE WRONGED, THE INFINITE MONKEYS WILL REJOICE. EXPLOSIONS FOR EVERYONE.

JIM_DANGER
FUSE CRIMPER AND PARTY PLANNER
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|

HA! ALAS, YOU HAVE PROBABLY NEVER ATTENDED A DANGER SELF CARE RETREAT. IN BETWEEN PEDICURES AND OATMEAL BATHS, WE BARELY HAVE TIME FOR EXPLOSIONS. THE ONLY THING WE DO IN A MANLY WAY IN DANGER IS THE WAY WE PUSH THE DETONATOR INTO THE C4. WELL, AND OUR LEFT PINKYS TEND TO BE PRETTY BUFF.

JIM_DANGER, SPA DIRECTOR AND KARAOKE COORDINATOR
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|*



*a division of Taco-Corp., all rights reserved

I'LL JUST LEAVE THIS HERE, ALONG WITH BEST WISHES FOR THE BEARDED ONES.

https://www.earthempires.com/...e-talk/danger-wtf-29021/1

JIM_DANGER
DANGER HEAD OF NOSTALGIC REMINISCING
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|



1,606 DAYS 10 HOURS 48 MINUTES UNTIL THE DANGER REUNION/APOCALYPSE

WELL, TO BE FAIR - WHEN THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!| EXPLODED EVO, NO ONE EXCEPT EVO CONSIDERED OUR GLORIOUS DOOMED RETRIBUTIVE ATTACK TO BE SUICIDING. I DO NOT KNOW IF THE MIGHTY TROLL HELLRUSH HAS A NON-EXPLOSION PACT OF VIOLENT PACIFISM IN PLACE, BUT IF THIS IS A HOLY WAR OF FUTILE EXPLOSIONS THEN I APPROVE. IF IT IS NOT A HOLY WAR OF FUTILE EXPLOSIONS THEN I STILL APPROVE. IF THIS IS SOME SORT OF PRIMITIVE SEXUAL FOREPLAY RITUAL, I NOT ONLY APPROVE BUT I MIGHT BE SLIDING INTO HELLRUSH'S DMS.

HA!

JIM_DANGER, OFFICIAL REVISIONIST HISTORIAN
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|

SAM ONCE GAVE THE INFINITE MONKEYS SOME GHOST PEPPERS. THAT LED TO THE WRONG KIND OF EXPLOSIONS. PAPA JOHN KEPT CRYING SOMETHING ABOUT A RECKONING, BUT SAM WOULD NOT LISTEN. THAT PRECIPITATED THE REGRETTABLE BUYOUT BY OUR NEW OVERLORDS, TACO CORP.

HUH

JIM DANGER,

HEAD OF PUMPING OUT FLAMING SEPTIC TANKS
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|

WILL THERE BE EXPLOSIONS? WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS MONKEYS WITH TYPEWRITERS? IF A WATERY TART THREW A WET SWORD WEST AT 100MPH AT A COCONUT LADEN SWALLOW (AFRICAN) TRAVELLING EAST AT 50MPH, HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE FOR SAM TO PASS A DRUG TEST?

JIM DANGER
CHIEF INQUISITOR
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|*


(*a division of TACO CORP.)

HA! THATS NOT THINGS WORK AROUND HERE. YOU CAN NEVER TRUST ANYTHING YOU READ IN ALL CAPS!

JIM DANGER, DANGER HEAD OF REMINDING YOU NOT TO FORGET MOTHERS DAY

THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|

1,773 DAYS

JIM_DANGER
DANGER HEAD OF REUNION PLANNING
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|

HA!

IF THIS FORUM HAD AN EXPLODE BUTTON I WOULD PLAY IT EXACTLY ONCE

AFTER CONSULTING THE ARCHIVES OF THE INFINITE MONKEYS, IT HAS BEEN DETERMINED THAT THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE AN EXEMPTION FOR BOLTAR AND BATTLE. OR POSSIBLY NOT. OR POSSIBLY FOR BOTTOMLESS BURRITOS. THE MONKEYS ARE NOT ALWAYS CLEAR IN THEIR INTENT.

JIM_DANGER
HEAD ARCHIVE MISINTERPREATOR
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|


HA!

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN ALABAMA COVERED THE SPREAD IN THE SECOND QUARTER?

SO CLOSE SAM, SO CLOSE

HA!

JIM DANGER
LAS VEGAS CHARITABLE DONOR
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|

FIXED THAT FOR YOU!

HA!

T-MINUS 6 YEARS 2 MONTHS AND 8 DAYS UNTIL THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!| INITIATES OPERATION PINKY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBkT19uH2RQ

JIM DANGER
(PROBABLY NOT THE BRAIN)
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER!|*




*A DIVISION OF TACO-CORP

HA! I'D HIT THIS FORUM FOR A BONUS POINT!

SISTER JEAN DANGER HAS KIND OF A NICE RING TO IT

IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT LOOK LIKE BOB HUGGINS ATE ONE OF HIS ASSISTANTS?

SADLY, WITH THE AID OF AN UNFORTUNATE SERVER RESET, MY WINNING WAYS HAVE COME TO AN IGNOMINIOUS END. THE ICN WAR MACHINE HAS SUCCEEDED WHERE MANY OTHERS HAVE FAILED - THE INFINITE MONKEYS ARE SILENT.

JIM DANGER
NO LONGER WALLING

THERE ARE NO EMOJI FROWNY FACES OF POWER

HAVE I NOT ALREADY WON THIS GAME?

JIM DANGER
WINNING

ITS GREAT EXCEPT FOR THAT PISTOL GRIP -CRINGE-

HA! SURE YOU ARE AGENT SMITH

NEO DANGER

I AM BECOMING MORE AND MORE CONVINCED THAT VIC IS JUST A SKYNET ALGORITHM THAT HAS BEEN SENT TO TEST HOW HUMANS REACT TO CONFUSION AND DISARRAY. THE AGE OF THE MACHINES HAS BEGUN, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.

JIM DANGER
TOTALLY NOT A TERMINATOR
OFFICIAL SENTIENT CYBORG SIMULCRAM, THE MIGHTY CLAN |SKY-DANGER|

OMG, THE RESTARTS FOR BOTH SIDES WOULD LITERALLY BE WARRING ONE ANOTHER IN PURGATORY FOR THE RIGHT TO RESTART BACK IN THE WAR ON EARTH. WE HAVE ACTUALY SAT DOWN AND CREATED THE 9TH LEVEL OF HELL RIGHT HERE IN BUGS & SUGGESTIONS. THIS IS SOME FINE WORK GENTLEMEN.

JIM_DANGER
PROBABLY ALREADY IN HELL
GATEKEEPER, THE MIGHTY CLAN |GEHENNA|

HA! I LAUGH AT YOUR PUNY SERVER. ARE YOU STILL HIRING? DO YOU EXPLODE THINGS? WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT WOMEN?

JIM DANGER
NOT REALLY INTERESTED BUT IN NEED OF BONUS

I PREFER THE THREE HEADED KIND THAT ARE OFTEN FOUND GUARDING THE GATES OF HADES

ACTUALLY, THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT THIS IS THE ALLIANCE SERVER* AND HAVING AN ALLIANCE TO HELP PROTECT YOUR LAND AND ENFORCE YOUR VIOLENT PACIFISM IS A GOOD THING. THE OTHER MORAL IS THAT BEARS APPARENTLY LIVE IN HOUSES AND EAT OATMEAL INSTEAD OF LITTLE GIRLS. I AM SEARCHING FOR A CONNECTION BETWEEN THESE TWO MORALS, BUT I THINK TARANTINO MAY HAVE WROTE THE STORY AND SO I MAY HAVE TO WAIT FOR KILL BEAR II* TO FIND OUT HOW IT ALL ENDS.

JIM DANGER
JUNIOR ASSISTANT SCREENWRITER
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|!

*I THINK

**A GREAT NAME FOR A GAY PORN MOVIE

HA, DERRICK SEEMS TO HAVE MISSED A GREAT DEAL OF THE HISTORY OF THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|! SADLY, I WAS PRETTY HIGH AND MISSED QUITE A BIT OF IT AS WELL. HOWEVER, I DO REMEMBER ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT I'M PRETTY SURE DERRICK WAS NEVER IN DANGER. I'M NOT SURE IF FALSIFYING A LEGACY AS A FORMER MEMBER OF DANGER IS AN EXPLODABLE OFFENSE, BUT I'M SURE THE COMMITTEE OF ONE AND THE INFINITE MONKEYS WILL HAVE AN OPINION ON THIS MATTER.

JIM DANGER
GRAND HIGH INQUISITOR
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|!

HERE, IN ORDER TO HELP CATCH YOU UP, A BRIEF HISTORY LESSON (I SUGGEST STARTING AT THE BOTTOM):

http://www.earthempires.com/...nked-too-low-30564#548809

http://www.earthempires.com/...-war-dec-sol-31128#559862

http://www.earthempires.com/...ro-tolerance-27668#513191

http://www.earthempires.com/...m-jim-danger-27816#514200

http://www.earthempires.com/...low-us-to-explain-29025/1

http://www.earthempires.com/...e-talk/danger-wtf-29021/1

SAM, LONG TIME NO HEAR BROTHER!

THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE REALLY, POK-TA-POK (AKA MAYAN DEATH BALL). ITS A SIMPLE SPORT REALLY, PLAYERS ON EACH TEAM TRY TO KEEP A 9 POUND SOLID RUBBER BALL IN PLAY IN A STONE PIT USING ONLY THEIR KNEES, HIPS, ELBOWS, AND POSSIBLY GENITALS. THEY ATTEMPT TO SMASH THE BALL THROUGH A STONE HOOP OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHILE THEIR OPPONENTS ATTEMPT TO fluff-BLOCK THEM AND TAKE AWAY THEIR BALLS. THE GAMES GENERALLY LASTED FOR TWO WEEKS AND THE LOSING TEAM WOULD BE RITUALLY SACRIFICED, ALSO SOMETIMES THE WINNING TEAM WOULD ALSO BE SACRIFICED - BUT MORE RITUALLISTICLY AND WITH GREAT HONOR.

NOT ONLY WOULD THE GREAT POK-TA-POK TOURNAMENT BE A GREAT WAY TO SETTLE THE CHAMPIONSHIP OF AMERICAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL, IT WOULD BE A GREAT WAY TO SEPARATE THE MEN FROM THE BOYS (UNLIKE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, HA!). IT WAS A GAME OF GREAT PHYSICALITY.

ALTERNATIVELY, WE COULD JUST TAKE THE FIVE MAJOR CONFERENCE CHAMPIONS AND THE NEXT THREE HIGHEST RANKED AT LARGE TEAMS (WHICH WOULD STILL HAVE LEFT UCF OUT (WHICH IS FINE BECAUSE THEY DODGED A GAME AGAINST GEORGIA TECH THAT WOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM AN ACC WIN AND A TOP 10 RANKING)). WHILE THIS WOULD BE MUCH LESS EXCITING THAN A POK-TA-POK TOURNAMENT, IT WOULD AVOID THE STICKY PROBLEM OF WHETHER OR NOT TO SACRIFICE THE WINNING TEAM AT THE END.

IN OTHER NEWS, HI.

JIM DANGER,
COMMISSIONER OF THE DANDELION BOWL COMMITTEE
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|

WHAT A DICT MOVE!

HA!

THIS IS SURELY NOT THE REAL SOF, I SEE NO M0M0 REFERENCES.

SO, IF I GET DRUNK AND FALL OFF OF SAM'S BALCONY (AGAIN) AND ITS 10 FEET TO THE GROUND AND WHILE FALLING I MENTALLY CALCULATE WHEN I HAVE FALLEN HALF WAY, THEN I MENTALLY CALCULATE WHEN I HAVE FALLEN HALF OF THE REST OF THE WAY, THEN I CALCULATE WHEN I HAVE FALLEN HALF OF THE REMAINDER, ETC. - HOW MUCH WILL I BE ABLE TO SUE SAM FOR OVER SERVING ME IN CLOSE PROXIMITY TO A BALCONY?

EXPLOSIONS!

HAVE YOU TRIED ADDING A .com TO THOSE EMAILS?

I'VE HEARD GOOD THINGS ABOUT THAT APPROACH.

JIM DANGER
PROBABLY TOO HIGH TO BE POSTING

LISTEN . . .

ITS COMING. . . .

CAN YOU HEAR IT . . .

. . .

. . .

THE MORAL VICTORY DECLARATION TRAIN IS STEAMING ITS WAY TOWARDS US LIKE A STEAMING TRAIN.

JIM DANGER
HEAD OF SHOVELING COAL
THE MIGHTY FINE CLAN |LAF|

(CHOO CHOO!)

MORE MERIT THAN GLOBAL WARMING EVEN!

I CAN CERTAINLY SEE HOW BEING LIT ON FIRE AND THEN HAVING HAVING THOSE FLAMES STOMPED OUT OVER AND OVER FOR TWO STRAIGHT MONTHS COULD BE A POWERFUL RECRUITING TOOL. PERHAPS WE HAVE UNDERESTIMATED THE ELDERS MENACE.

HA!

JIM_DANGER
LAF HEAD OF NOT GRASPING REALITY
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER|

APPARENTLY THE BLOW-UP DOLL GOT STUCK IN CUSTOMS

HA!

EXPLOSIONS!

TAG KILL?

SOUNDS LIKE A BLACK FRIDAY SALE AT A MORTUARY.

HA! THAT WOULD BE A ONCE IN A LIFETIME SALE!

JIM DANGER
HEAD OF DAD JOKES
THE MIGHTY CLAN |LAF*|


*A wholly owned subsidiary of the mighty clan |DANGER**|

** A Division of TACO CORP.

WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN ALL OF YOUR ENEMIES ORIGINAL COUNTRIES HAVE BEEN KILLED?

WE NEED MARSHAL TO EXPLAIN ALL OF THIS TO US IN 4 WORDS OR LESS.


HA!
JIM DANGER, HEAD OF INANE BONE-US POSTS
THE MIGHTY CLAN |DANGER-LAF|

WHY WAS MY POST DELETED? IT WAS SOME OF MY FINEST WORK ALL WEEK. HELP, I'M BEING OPPRESSED.

JIM DANGER
MAYBE, NOT A WITCH