WELL, SHAZBOT! THIS ISN'T LOOKING GOOD EITHER.

HA!
SAM,
MINISTER OF SEC HATE
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER!]

WELL ALRIGHT THEN!

GO RAZORBACKS!

HA!

SAM,
MASTER PROGNOSTICATOR
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER!]

THAT IS ALL!

HA!

SAM
UNDERDOG,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER!]

VIRGINIA V PURDUE, WOW WHAT A GAME! WE REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT BASKETBALL, BUT THAT WAS SOMETHING WE CAN APPRECIATE.

VIRGINIA IS THE ONLY TEAM LEFT STANDING IN OUR BRACKET, BUT IT WAS STILL A BIT DISAPPOINTING TO SEE THAT GAME END THE WAY IT DID. WE FELT BAD FOR EDWARDS. THAT KID HAD SUCH A GREAT GAME, AND THEN FOR IT TO END ON HIS MISTAKE.... SAD!

AND, SINCE VIRGINIA IS STILL IN, WE HAVE TO KEEP CARING ABOUT BASKETBALL FOR ANOTHER COUPLE DAYS. INFURIATING!

WE SOMEHOW POSTED ON THE WRONG THREAD!

NOT US! WE PICKED MURRAY STATE! THEY ARE ALSO GOING TO BEAT FLORIDA STATE (WE PICKED THEM TO BE PLAYING VERMONT) AND THEN THEY'RE GOING TO GET POUNDED BY GONZAGA!

HA!

SAM
10 FOR 16 SO FAR,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

[EDIT] THREE OF OUR SWEET 16 ARE ALREADY OUT THOUGH. YALE, NEVADA, AND SETON HALL.

GALLERI!

galleri?

YOU CAN SEE HOW MUCH MORE POWERFUL IS THE FIRST! KOH WINS!

ALSO! YOU ARE ALL VERY LUCKY THIS YEAR! THIS MORNING WE CAME TO OUR OFFICE COMPUTER 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE START OF THE TOURNAMENT. TO OUR GREAT DISMAY, WE REALIZED THAT WE HAD COMPLETELY FILLED OUT WHAT WAS SURELY A VERY POWERFUL BRACKET THIS YEAR, BUT HAD NOT SUBMITTED PICKS! THE "SUBMIT PICKS" OR WHATEVER BUTTON WAS FURIOUSLY POUNDED, ONLY TO RETURN A "BAD GATEWAY" ERROR. THIS CONTINUED FOR 10.5 MINUTES, AT WHICH POINT IT FINALLY ALLOWED US TO SUBMIT OUR BRACKET... TOO LATE!

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR, SIMPS!

HA!

SAM
PROCRASTINATING PROGNOSTICATOR,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

[EDIT]: BY THE WAY! WE FORGOT TO MENTION, WE HAD VIRGINIA DEFEATING MARYLAND FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP BY A SCORE OF 75-67. WHEN THAT HAPPENS, WE EXPECT GIFTS AND OFFERINGS FROM ALL OF YOU!

ALSO!

UGGH!

THESE LOGOS ARE TERRIBLE! WHERE IS THE SCARY DUKE DEVIL! WHAT IS WITH THE LAME BLUE "D"?!

THIS YEAR'S PICKS WILL BE MADE BY WHAT WE KNOW THE LOGO SHOULD BE! NOT BY THE WEAK LETTERS THAT ESPN CHOOSES TO USE FOR MOST TEAMS!

THIS IS GOING TO TAKE US SO MUCH MORE TIME NOW! WE WILL HAVE TO DO ACTUAL RESEARCH! INFURIATING!

HA!

SAM
DEPARTMENT OF ICONOGRAPHY
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

YES! IT IS TIME FOR OUR ONCE YEARLY VISIT HERE TO MAKE INCREDIBLY POWERFUL BASKETBALL PICKS BASED ON TEAM LOGOS!

THANK YOU MRFORD FOR THE LINK! YOU WILL REGRET IT!

KOH, IT IS GOOD TO SEE THAT AT LEAST ONE OF THE NANCIES HERE HAS REMEMBERED HOW TO USE THE LETTERS OF POWER! EVEN IF YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THE INDIVIDUAL LETTERS CONTAIN THE POWER!

HA!

SAM
MINISTER OF PROGNOSTICATION
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

IS THERE ONE?

HA!

SAM

Death penalty for a voluntary exchange between two private parties. Yeah, that makes sense.

NO MARCH MADNESS POOL THIS YEAR? NOW I KNOW THIS GAME IS REALLY DYING!

DEFINITELY! I TRIED MESSAGING B_C ON ICQ SIX YEARS AGO, BUT NO RESPONSE!

HELLO! LONG TIME NO SHOUT!

I HAVE A PRESSING ISSUE I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS WITH YOU ALL REGARDING COLLEGE FOOTBALL. WHEN I THINK SPORTS DISCUSSIONS, I THINK INTERNET. AND WHEN I THINK RATIONAL AND REASONABLE DEBATE, I THINK ALLIANCE TALK. SO! HERE WE ARE!

UCF'S VICTORY OVER AUBURN IS PROOF THAT WE NEED AN EXPANDED COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF, AND THAT THE SEC IS OVERRATED. THIS IS NOT PRESENTED AS A DEBATE POINT. IT IS AN UNDENIABLE FACT.

HOWEVER, WE NEED TO DECIDE HOW THESE PLAYOFFS WOULD BE ORGANIZED. THIS IS WHERE I BELIEVE YOU, THE AT COMMUNITY, CAN BE OF GREAT SERVICE TO MANKIND. HOW MANY TEAMS SHOULD BE IN, AND HOW SHOULD THEY BE CHOSEN?

AND FINALLY, IF THE COLOR COMMENTARY GUY FOR THE ROSE BOWL GAME USES THE WORD "PHYSICALITY" ONE MORE TIME, HE WILL BE ADDED TO THE LIST OF THOSE WHO ARE TO BE EXPLODED. AGAIN, THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

PS: YOUR TECH IS DELICIOUS.

YOU CAN GET MORE SPAL BY DROPPING LAND.

SPAL IS SPIES PER ACRE. THE ACRONYM MAKES NO SENSE, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, OR WHATEVER WILL BE WILL BE, OR WHATEVER.

HA!

PREDICTION!

ANGRY BULLDOGS 91, TWO LAME LETTERS, 58

WHY DOES YOUR TEAM HATE YOU SO MUCH FORD? THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO KILL YOU!

HA! YES, XAVIER IS A PRETTY POWERFUL WORD. ANYTHING THAT STARTS WITH AN 'X', REALLY. THEN PUT A SWORD THROUGH THE X? IT GIVES ME SHIVERS.

IF XAVIER FAILS TO BEAT GONZAGA TOMORROW, I WILL GO BACK TO MY 350 DAYS OF BEING VERY IDGAF ABOUT BASKETBLA.

HOWEVER! I HAVE SOME IDEAS TO MAKE THIS A LESS fluffTY SPORT. THERE ARE SO MANY WAYS IT COULD BE IMPROVED! HERE ARE JUST A FEW!

NUMBER ONE!!!! ELIMINATE MOST FOULS. ALL GAME LONG ITS JUST "TWEET!" "TWEET!" "TWEET!" ITS LIKE I'M WATCHING TRUMP'S TWITTER FEED, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

SO, ANYTHING THAT WOULDN'T BE AT LEAST A MISDEMEANOR.. NO LONGER A FOUL! OVER THE BACK? COME ON! GET RID OF THAT CRAP. FIGHT FOR THE REBOUND AND MAKE IT INTERESTING! REACHING, PUSHING, GRABBING (UNLESS IN A PLAYER'S HAPPY PLACE).. NO LONGER FOULS! LET'S STOP TREATING THESE PLAYERS LIKE BALLERINAS! ALTHOUGH, THROWING THEM IN THE AIR WOULD BE PRETTY COOL.. I JUST CAME UP WITH ANOTHER IDEA (#4) WHICH I'LL GET TO LATER.

IDEA TWO!!! WHY DON'T WE SEE IF WE CAN INTRODUCE SOME REAL DEFENSE INTO THE GAME. AFTER ALMOST ALL BASKETS, ONE TEAM JUST DROPS BACK INTO THEIR ZONE THINGY AND CONCEDES THREE QUARTERS OF THE COURT. THIS IS BORING! I LIKE TEAMS THAT DON'T DO THAT. ITS EXCITING! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF FOOTBALL TEAMS JUST GAVE UP TO THEIR OWN 35 YARD LINE EVERY TIME THE OPPONENTS HAD THE BALL? SO NOW YOU'RE STARTING TO UNDERSTAND.. FOOTBALL IS ABOUT 7,645 TIMES GREATER THAN BASKETBALL, SO LET'S FIND WAYS TO MAKE THESE GUYS DEFEND THE WHOLE COURT.

HERE'S HOW I PROPOSE WE MAKE THAT HAPPEN: EVERY TIME A TEAM FORCES THEIR OPPONENT TO BURN THE SHOT CLOCK DOWN TO 25 BEFORE CROSSING HALF COURT, ONE POINT IS REMOVED FROM THE TEAM ON OFFENSE. ANOTHER POINT IS REMOVED FOR EVERY TWO MORE SECONDS THAT EXPIRE BEFORE THE OFFENSE REACHES THE MIDDLE.

IDEA THREE!! AWARD ONE POINT FOR EACH STEAL. THIS GELS NICELY WITH RULE CHANGE NUMBER TWO. IMAGINE IT! AFTER HARRASSING THE OFFENSE FOR 10 SECONDS, THE DEFENSE GETS A STEAL. THEY HAVE JUST MADE A FOUR POINT (SWING) PLAY WITHOUT EVEN SHOOTING THE BALL! WOW!

IDEA FOUR, WHICH I JUST CAME UP WITH A FEW MINUTES AGO! THE SUPER ALLEYOOP! IF THE OFFENSE IS ABLE TO VAULT ONE OF THEIR PLAYERS INTO THE AIR SO THAT HIS KNEES GO HIGHER THAN THE RIM, AND HE IS THEN PASSED THE BALL AND DUNKS IT, THE TEAM IS AWARDED FIVE POINTS. MY OH MY!

IDEA FIVE!!! ELMINATE THE THEEE POINT SHOT. I AM SO TIRED OF WATCHING PLAYERS MISS 70 PERCENT OF THEIR SHOTS! ITS LIKE WATCHING BLASTED SOCCER! NO MORE THREE POINT SHOT, PERIOD.

HA!

SAM
RULES COORDINATOR,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

WOW! XAVIER AGAIN... IF THEY ACTUALLY MAKE THE FINAL FOUR, I'M MAKING ALL MY PICKS VIA COIN FLIP FROM NOW ON!

THIS BOARD IS SO DEAD THAT IT TAKES NEARLY TWO WEEKS FOR A TOPIC TO GET PUSHED FROM PAGE ONE TO PAGE TWO. THE THREAD IS CLEARLY LABELED SO THAT PEOPLE WHO FIND BASKETBALL OFFENSIVE CAN AVOID IT... WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHICH BOARD ITS ON?

YOU ARE RIGHT THOUGH. BASKETBALL IS STUPID. I MIGHT HAVE SAID THAT BEFORE (EVERY YEAR)

GO REDPIGS!

WELL! THAT WENT A LITTLE LESS GOOD THAN I HAD HOPED!!

THAT XAVIER WIN KNOCKED THE NUMBER OF PERFECT BRACKETS ON THE ESPN SITE DOWN FROM 8 TO 2. IF ARIZONA LOSES, THERE WILL BE NO MORE.

WOW! XAVIER BEATS FSU. I GUESS PERHAPS THE MAGICAL 50 CENT PIECE KNOWS MORE THAN I THOUGHT!

MRFORD, AT LEAST YOUR FINAL FOUR ARE ALL STILL ALIVE. UNTIL TOMORROW! (HA!)

PICKING WISCONSIN OVER VILLANOVA WAS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE, FOR TWO REASONS. NUMBER ONE, I HEARD SOME RADIO GUY SAY THAT NOVA SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A NUMBER ONE SEED. MORE IMPORTANTLY! VILLANOVA'S LOGO WAS MUSHROOM CLOUD SHAPED, YES. BUT WISCONSIN'S LOGO IS A DOUBLE MUSHROOM CLOUD!

WE ARE SURPRISED YOU MISSED THAT!

THANK YOU TO MY CRACK RESEARCH SQUAD!

GO BADGERS! THIS IS THE PART WHERE I START TO PULL AHEAD OF YOU ALL!

HA!

{EDIT} NOW THAT IT IS HALFTIME, WE CAN USE OUR NEWLY DEVELOPED, VERY COMPLEX SYSTEM TO DETERMINE WHAT THE FINAL SCORE WILL BE. THE ZAZEN PROGNOSTICATION METHOD (ZPM) PREDICTS THAT THE FINAL SCORE OF THIS GAME WILL BE WISCONSIN 62, VILLANOVA 54.

{2ND EDIT} CLEARLY, THE ZPM NEEDS SOME ADJUSTMENTS, BUT OUR ASCENDANCY CONTINUES NONETHELESS!

SO, I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THE ESPN SITE..

EACH ENTRANT HAS A "PCT" COLUMN, WHICH I WOULD THINK WOULD BE SHORT FOR PERCENT. HOWEVER! I HAVE CORRECTLY PICKED MORE THAN HALF (!!!) OF THE FIRST ROUND GAMES, AND MY "PCT" COLUMN SAYS 5.6. SO, WHAT DOES THIS COLUMN INDICATE?

BEFORE MRFORD POSTED THE LINK TO THE ESPN POOL, I HAD DONE EXTENSIVE, LABORIOUS RESEARCH AND CREATED MY USUAL LOGO-BASED BRACKET ON YAHOO. THAT BRACKET IS CURRENTLY 4 FOR 4 {EDIT: 9/15}, AND HAS A DECENT {EDIT: GUARANTEED} SHOT AT THIS MOMENT OF GOING 6 FOR 6 {EDIT: OVER .500 FOR DAY ONE}!

!!!

https://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/150661

AS I EXPECTED, DUE TO ESPN'S VILLAINY, I HAVE STARTED OUT THIS TOURNAMENT 0 FOR 1.

NEVER IN MY LONG HISTORY OF SUBPAR BASKETBALL PROGNOSTICATION HAVE I STARTED A TOURNAMENT 0 FOR 1.

THIS DAY WILL LIVE IN INFAMY!

ATTN RED-X AND WHOEVER IS MATT GANDER!

YOUR PICKS HAVE COME UNDER SCRUTINY DUE TO THE PRESENCE OF NOTHING BELOW A TWO SEED IN THE FINAL FOUR OF YOUR BRACKETS. IN ORDER TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR THE VALUABLE AND EXCITING PRIZES ASSOCIATED WITH THIS CONTEST, YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO UPLOAD A VIDEO OF YOUR COIN FLIPPING!

HA!

SAM

MINE CAME OUT WITH XAVIER WINNING IT ALL. ONLY A SLIGHTLY HIGHER SEED THAN WINTHROP.

BY THE WAY, I JUST REALIZED YOU CAN DO THE COIN FLIP THING WITHOUT EVEN OWNING A COIN. YOU CAN SET YOUR BRACKET TO FILL IN RANDOM WINNERS, AND YOU CAN DO THIS AFTER SETTING ALL OF THE #1 SEEDS TO WIN THEIR FIRST ROUND GAME.

I THINK IF YOU DO THE AUTOMATED RANDOM INSTEAD OF A COIN, YOU ARE CHEATING YOURSELF OUT OF COUNTLESS MINUTES OF VALUABLE ENTERTAINMENT, BUT I FOUND IT INTERESTING THAT MY FIRST TEST OF THE AUTOMATED RANDOM ALSO RESULTED IN A XAVIER CHAMPIONSHIP! WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT?

AS WE HAVE NOTED IN THE MARCH MADNESS THREAD, WE ARE LESS THAN ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THE SWITCH TO ESPN'S SITE FOR OUR ONCE PER YEAR INTEREST IN BASKETBALL. THE LOGOS ARE TOO SMALL! AND TOO BORING!

SO, WE HAVE CREATED OUR OWN POOL ON YAHOO! SPORTS: TMC [DANGER]!'S FLIP-OUT POOL! WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE ACRONYM, BUT WE BELIEVED "THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!'S FLIP-OUT POOL" MIGHT PROVE TO BE TOO LONG OF A NAME.

THIS POOL HAS ONLY ONE RULE. ASIDE FROM THE FIRST ROUND 1 VS 16 SEED GAMES, ALL OF YOUR PICKS MUST BE DECIDED BY THE FLIP OF A COIN. WE HAVE RUN TESTS AND HAVE DETERMINED THAT USING THIS METHOD OF PICKING SHOULD ONLY TAKE BETWEEN TEN MINUTES AND THREE HOURS TO COMPLETELY FILL OUT YOUR BRACKET. FOR THE FINAL SCORE PREDICTION OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME, PARTICIPANTS ARE ENCOURAGED - THOUGH NOT REQUIRED - TO ROLL FIVE 20-SIDED DICE TWICE.

HERE IS A LINK TO THE POOL. BE AWARE THAT THIS POOL IS PUBLIC AND AS SUCH MAY CONTAIN TRACE AMOUNTS OF BODILY FLUIDS.

https://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/...dcfbfabe2&soc_trk=lnk

YOU HAVE LESS THAN THREE DAYS LEFT TO FIND YOUR 20-SIDED DICE! ACT NOW!

HA!

SAM
ATHLETIC DIRECTOR,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

TRANSLATED FROM IGNTION'S TRANSLATION, BACK TO ENGLISH, BY WAY OF ARABIC, AFRIKAANS, HAITIAN CREOLE, AND IRISH:

"Here are the elves job Béarla -> German -> English:
It is usually the context well enough if you have large amounts of text, I decide whether news artikles court decision, but certainly could be missing out on some words or phrases.

Something fun to exchange back and forth between mother and English)

Also fun to have a little fluff."

OK, MY BRACKET IS COMPLETED, AND AS THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WISE ENOUGH TO FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK ALREADY KNOW, VIRGINIA WILL WIN THE TOURNAMENT THIS YEAR.

HOWEVER, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE ADJUSTMENTS TO MY BRACKET AS LOGOS OF THE PLAY-IN GAME WINNERS ARE DISPLAYED. FOR EXAMPLE, NORMALLY I WOULD KNOW THAT PROVIDENCE'S LOGO IS THE GRIM REAPER, AND I WOULD (AND DO, FOR NOW) HAVE THEM GOING FAIRLY DEEP. HOWEVER, ESPN MAY DECIDE TO COME UP WITH SOME VERY BORING NON-GRIM-REAPER LOGO FOR PROVIDENCE AFTER THEY DEFEAT USC, WHICH WOULD CHANGE EVERYTHING.

ONE OF THE SADDEST THINGS ABOUT THIS YEAR... MARYLAND.

AS ALL OF YOU WHO FOLLOW THIS THREAD EACH YEAR KNOW, I FIND THE NUDIST - AND SUSPECTED PEDOPHILE - TURTLE PROFOUNDLY DISTURBING. AS SUCH, PEDOPHILE DINOTURTLE USUALLY ENJOYS QUITE A FEW VICTORIES IN MY BRACKETS. NOT SO THIS YEAR. INEXPLICABLY, ESPN HAS DECIDED ON JUST THE LETTER 'M' FOR MARYLAND'S LOGO.

I DEMAND THAT WE GO BACK TO YAHOO NEXT YEAR!