Search For Author: bigdogcwg - Earth Empires Forum

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Sep 5th 2025, 18:15:36

Originally posted by Ruthie:

Oh hey bigdog

*hides rolled-up newspaper behind her back*

Wanna Burrito? 😉

Well depends

Wanna play hide the sausage? 😘

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Horndogs R Us Regional Leader

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Sep 4th 2025, 11:06:52

Clowns with Guns

Home of crack brownies, inflatable sheeples, and smelly dogs!

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Mascot Wearing Someone’s Victoria Secrets Panties on Head (oh hey Ruthie)

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 25th 2025, 23:14:01

Originally posted by Ruthie:

FYI, I still want them back!

*rubs da belly*

Going commando all the time causes chafing!

*rolls over*

I can kiss it and make it all better.

BigDogCWG
Clowns With Guns
Medic Expert

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 25th 2025, 10:09:16

Originally posted by farmer:

lol those are all ligit reasons. along with no shots for awhile

I had my shot: Jose, Jack, Jim, Johnny, Tito, etc

Served up in tiny glasses

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Drunken Mutt = Leg Humper

1) shoes of members left unattended are mysteriously wet…and smelly

2) socks mysteriously disappear then few days later reappear ( more on that later)

3) carpet has weird brown streaks and yellow spots everywhere

4) piles of smelly reddish stuff which contains socks

5) legs of tables and arms of chairs suddenly looked chewed on. There are no level tables anywhere. No culprit found.

6) members suddenly itchy due to fleas and ticks

7) instances of members being humped while bending over by unknown assailant(s)

8) inflatable ah dolls have holes in them

9) there may or may not have been an instance or three or five of leg humping

10) no one will allow me to display my collection of captured souvenirs (assorted panties, bras, etc) because Ruthie still wants them back.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Not quite housebroken and full intact five legged dog

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 24th 2025, 4:27:32

Thanks.

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 23rd 2025, 1:28:06

Says he’s last comment or but nothing shows?

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 12th 2025, 17:51:41

lol it oh

Red rocket alert. Red rocket alert!

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Orbiting Women of Earth Since Inception

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 12th 2025, 12:50:58

Originally posted by Ruthie:

Originally posted by bigdogcwg:

Originally posted by brujodale:

When Ruthie goes shopping in jersey fur clothes, she buy's JR. dresses and very very short kilt's
If;s you cant run with da big dogs, sit on the porch.

Please. He’s my boy. So he’s hanging and dragging when he walks.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Chinese name: Wong Hung Lo

Ouch

Your sigs are hilarious

:)
;)

*rolls over*

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
“Im like a chia pet. Water me and watch me GROW Ruthie!”

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 11th 2025, 2:32:30

Originally posted by brujodale:

When Ruthie goes shopping in jersey fur clothes, she buy's JR. dresses and very very short kilt's
If;s you cant run with da big dogs, sit on the porch.

Please. He’s my boy. So he’s hanging and dragging when he walks.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Chinese name: Wong Hung Lo

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 10th 2025, 21:51:10

Originally posted by Ruthie:

If that chew toy is what I think it is, I dont need to see it :P

Well it’s now, ah textured for your pleasure.

:)

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
To Ruthie: I’m like a magical lamp from Aladdin. Rub my belly and see the genie pop out.

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 10th 2025, 12:48:11

*breaking news from Clown News Network*

Last night at the WNBA game LA Sparks vs Golden State Valkyries Clowns Legend Jeweler held a special Ringmaster Election.

Candidates were:
DarkAngel
Farmer
BigDogCWG

During the election ceremony, the following occurred:

After consuming the required crack brownies the meeting was called to order by Jeweler

A roll call was taken of candidates.

Farmer was absent last seen talking to what may or may not have been a cheerleader with a beard muttering as he was muttering planting his seed and watching it grow and headed to the family restroom stall.

In meantime DarkAngel extracted a bright green torpedo shaped object from his coat pocket and began waving it air and tossing onto the court yelling “fetch boy”.

BigDogCWG was last seen galloping through the crowd chasing something bright green.

Jeweler declared DarkAngel the winner due to fact there was no one left.

Congrats DarkAngel.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
*trots off with new chew toy to show Ruthie*

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 5th 2025, 19:56:17

Originally posted by DarkangelRM:

Cleaning up after you so much, I’m thinking of listing ‘BigDog’s personal waste management technician’ on my résumé

Has a nice ring to it!

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Training Hazmat Workers for over a decade

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 5th 2025, 19:54:30

That’s my boy!

And everything is a hump fest.

BigDogCWG
Clowns With Guns
Proud Papa of a Humpalot

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 4th 2025, 23:44:36

Been while. How’s our kids?

Lost track of them all.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Horny Mascot

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 4th 2025, 23:38:58

Originally posted by Drow:

gotta stop feeding you chilli. not good for your stomach after all ;)

Or anyone with a nose after I’ve done my business

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Wasn’t me who farted…

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 4th 2025, 1:54:34

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 3rd 2025, 16:13:48

Originally posted by Ruthie:

Originally posted by SuperFly:

Coalie and I can bulldoze the tent for you if you like that way you can get erect a new one / pitch a tent again

Pitching a tent is exactly what he does best ;)

All it takes is .....

*rubs da belly*

Ooooooo ooooooo. Utohhhhhhh

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Earths 5 legged mutt

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 3rd 2025, 13:24:57

Originally posted by Suicidal:

Originally posted by bigdogcwg:

The Big Top getting smelly

Need Ringmaster to ah service the situation.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
And beer drinking chili eating mutts

Change ur own skivies

I am a doggo

Don’t wear skivies. Full on commando. Makes the women faint.

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 3rd 2025, 13:23:33

Originally posted by SuperFly:

Coalie and I can bulldoze the tent for you if you like that way you can get erect a new one / pitch a tent again

LOL but we just put in new carpet

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 3rd 2025, 0:35:05

The Big Top getting smelly

Need Ringmaster to ah service the situation.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
And beer drinking chili eating mutts

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 30th 2025, 16:44:33

Originally posted by Drow:

I'm not angry with you, just disappointed in a fatherly way...
Mostly over bringing P-Diddy...
Ruthie is welcome, and well, accidents with baby oil drums just happen, I understand :P

Well at least I didn’t do the doggie butt drag on that nice new shag carpet.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Some of them have fleas

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 29th 2025, 2:59:25

*crosses legs*

Rut row shaggy

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Dogs with Balls

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 28th 2025, 14:58:01

So...went on a double date with my friend from work, his wife, and a woman friend of theirs. Nice restaurant, top floor of Marriott.

The ladies were a bit chilly so I offered to run downstairs to the garage for their wraps.

Got onto the elevator when a woman stepped on. Now mind you, she was very attractive with the lowest tightest dress I have had the pleasure of gawking at fill with two of the biggest...well you get the picture?

Anyways, I couldn't help but stare.

And then I heard her say "please press 1".

I did.

Now I don't remember much after that. Something being said about "what the..." and now I have woken up, handcuffed to a bed in the hospital.

A rather stern police officer there wanting to have a chat.

My coworker friends are not returning my calls. And I guess no chance of a second date.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Inmate 2834740954

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 27th 2025, 12:20:13

You see. There was Ruthie. And PDiddy. And a dog in a rainbow wig wearing a red nose. And and a giant 55 gallon drum of Johnson’s Baby Oil. And an empty tray of crack brownies. And a small herd of sheep.

Well anyways with a group like that things got messy. Oily. Slippery. Slick.

You get the picture.

BigDogCWG
Clowns With Guns
Worlds m
Most lovable mutt sort of kind of well maybe

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 22nd 2025, 14:15:45

Originally posted by Ruthie:

That damn dog!!! Those were expensive! 😡

But very tasty...had a good chew factor.

*rolls over on back*

Rub me baby rub me

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 20th 2025, 19:50:44

News Flash

Large animal with a red nose and floppy shoes and a colorful rainbow wig and wearing a cat mask seen leaving the Monsters tent in a sneakily manner carrying what appears to be a Victoria's Secret bag in it mouth.

Witnesses heard the screams and shouts coming from a soapy woman dressed in a towel and waving a loofah sponge. The word "neuter" was used repeatedly along with some other colorful expletives.

Police are not asking questions as they are too busy laughing. They are calling for witnesses with video to step forward and submit a combined entry to America's Funniest Home Videos.

Big Dog CWG
Clowns with Guns
Clowns News Network Contributing Reporter

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 19th 2025, 11:01:44

I need chili and beer and someone ready with a bucket and shovel.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
This is what happens when you don’t spay or neuter your pets.

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 18th 2025, 19:11:42

With a mouthful of what appears to be someone's panties...

Rooffmmmieee frmmeeee

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Unwanted Mutt at Large

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 18th 2025, 18:58:06

Originally posted by Ruthie:

I do make yummy pickled eggs. 🤔

The kind with pickled red beets??? :-)

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 17th 2025, 12:18:37

Noticed your shoes were wet...

Weren't me (I think, I was kind of strung out on crack brownies and beer last night)

Yours Truly
BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns and Dog
Roller Into Things the Smell Funky

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 17th 2025, 12:16:33

Originally posted by DarkangelRM:

IM not selling anything, Im offering to pay to give it away. Clowns with Guns has a 4 legged mutt running around dragging is nasty, flea infested rear end on all of our new carpet.

Pro's: He is a leg humper, he loved peanut butter, makes a mean....brownie.

Cons: Eats a lot...and I mean a lot of Asparagus, eggs and laxatives.

Not naming names, just saying we have one we are willing to pay for pickup.

Chili and beer. You forgot the chili and beer. And the eggs got be pickled.

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 17th 2025, 12:15:45

Originally posted by Ruthie:

Hmmm ... so many good qualities

Let me think on it :)

Ruthie! How's our kids doing?

BigDogCWG
Dog with Clowns
Also known as Sir Humpalot

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 14th 2025, 9:19:02

*walks in sporting red nose and holding a mangled red and yellow something in his mouth*

What? Weren’t me…I is framed!

BigDogCWG
Official Unofficial Dad to Ruthie’s Kids

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 8th 2025, 11:35:09

Came by for visit. The guard was asleep.

I rinsed off those shoes and dragged my butt across that brand new carpet in your clubhouse.

Love
BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns and Dogs
Chili eating beer drinking mutt

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 1st 2025, 13:26:49

Originally posted by EmpyreanMKR:

meow?

cats...the other other white meat.

ChowMeow for everyone!

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jun 30th 2025, 19:16:37

Attention all....Betsy is DA's very special sheeple. DA and "BaaBaaRaa" had a moment and relations that spawned her.

Please return safe and sound.

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jun 30th 2025, 12:58:05

Let's hear it! ArrrrrroooooOOOOOoooooOOOOOO

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
Lovable Mutt with Floppy Shoes

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jun 25th 2025, 15:00:49

LOL DA

Well...I think the mailbox had your name on it...

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jun 25th 2025, 14:59:19

Ruthie!

*wags stumpy tail and rolls over*

Hey there! rub a dub dub watch the red rocket sprout!

How ya doing?

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jun 24th 2025, 17:35:10

Lawn needs to be fertilized...
*Walks out to middle of lawn, squats*

*Trots off after dragging butt on patch of grass*

Green green grass...nothing better

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
Former Mascot thrice removed
Fertilizer of lawns
Sprinkler of shoes
Knows how to treat carpets badly (which is how bad carpet came to be)

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jun 24th 2025, 17:25:02

Hey I am here...where is my beer and bowl of chili? Is that new carpet I see?

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jun 13th 2025, 14:28:29

AAAARRRRRRROOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOO

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
Former Mascot Removed (sheesh...doggie butt drag on the new carpet and look what happens)

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Apr 7th 2022, 17:26:33

LOL not quite back. Guess I could create a country and find someone who wants to adopt and old smelly dog... :-)

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Mar 31st 2022, 19:04:35

Somewhere...go figure. Why would he do that?

Because he's evil....

But cute.

BigDogCWG
Clowns with Guns
Big Guns
Long Guns
Women Want Clowns
Well maybe not Banks

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Aug 8th 2020, 0:59:04

oh not hiding...just been a bit under the weather for past month or so.

How's it going Z?

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
Alive and Howling

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 23rd 2020, 19:19:13

Originally posted by galleri:

Penis

8============>

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
Red Rocket Red Rocket Who Da Good Boy

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 17th 2020, 20:45:31

Just think about all those facist farmers oilers who are stockpiling waiting for their glorious stock to sell at high prices...

Just think of the tears of joy it would bring them to not see a war.

Just think how EVIL this would be.

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
Hug a Tree, Not Pee on One

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 14th 2020, 20:26:27

*fluffs leg, waters down old pair of floppy shoes*

You left those back in the day in the Clown House.

So I cleaned them up for ya.

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
LCN's Favorite Pooch

bigdogcwg

Member
405

Jul 14th 2020, 13:10:44

BigDog's Liberation Movement...

We encourage women of the world to liberate themselves of their bras and go topless!

BigDog
Clowns with Guns
Founder of BLM (no not that one, this one)