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Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 19th 2024, 11:55:11

It has come to our attention that a wanted killer was hiding out in your lands. We have taken surgical strikes to respond to this killers aggressions. We always return the right to respond to terrorists any time any place.


https://www.earthempires.com/alliance/80/ranks/490

https://eestats.lafamiglia-ee.eu/...iance/oldcountry/3851/709

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 19th 2024, 13:03:27

Wrong Estats link here is the right one

https://eestats.lafamiglia-ee.eu/...iance/oldcountry/3851/149




https://www.earthempires.com/alliance/80/ranks/149

Tertius Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1645

Jan 19th 2024, 14:19:25

Not cool and not appreciated. I know you have a deep respect for Tmac, and a group of us from Evo have had a lot of fun and accomplishments with you here and on Team since you've been back - if you respect that, you should respect the Evo tag, even if it's players that have wronged you before.

Till

Member
42

Jan 19th 2024, 14:34:51

Came back for Evo reunion set. Your "wanted killer" has spent time helping a bunch of old timers getting up to speed on the new game meta. We're talking detailed mentoring and guidance. He's probably doing way more to get the playerbase back than your senseless suiciding. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Stop letting your hatred blind you. I have way more reasons as an old time Evo player during the Hanlong/TC cheating days to be angry at LaF but not everyone in the tag is guilty.

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 19th 2024, 14:40:09

*Very cool and awesome

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 19th 2024, 14:44:08

Originally posted by Till:
Came back for Evo reunion set. Your "wanted killer" has spent time helping a bunch of old timers getting up to speed on the new game meta. We're talking detailed mentoring and guidance. He's probably doing way more to get the playerbase back than your senseless suiciding. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Stop letting your hatred blind you. I have way more reasons as an old time Evo player during the Hanlong/TC cheating days to be angry at LaF but not everyone in the tag is guilty.



Oh I don’t actually have beef with him man just having some fun and responding to when they killed me is all. We are even now and I am happy to let it go whenever you guys are.

I think when evo allowed a guy that killed me to play they nullified the protection he would have been offered by having a friendly tag.

You don’t let bin laden go just because he is hiding out in Canada.

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 19th 2024, 14:45:50

If I’m a blood from north side and go hang out on the south side I don’t get to just pretend all the times I banged on their homies didn’t happen that old beef is there til it’s over my boys

Now it’s over so let it go and stop dwelling in the past man. That was like 20 minutes ago. It’s time to move on

Requiem Game profile

Member
EE Patron
9477

Jan 19th 2024, 15:20:01

At this point, I feel like most people who've had a grievance with any other alliance have been satisfied with their vengeance.

It should be time to move forward somehow, including stuff like this.

I don't support your actions here, Cath. I don't know you so I will withhold judgment on your character.


SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 19th 2024, 15:57:15

Let me get this straight.

Last year LaF and Black Holes crew hit Evo.

Following set LaF suicides Evo

Following set some LaF guys tag Evo and jump tag to finish as LaF.

This set no LaF tag. So they play in Evo while they wait for end of set to tag jump to LaF tag to bring glorious glory to LaF and another #1 victory.

Did I get the events correctly?

Btw I am just a bystander and I am unaffected by any of these events currently.
I am just wondering why? Is Evo that chick that gets beat by her man over and over and is like; “but he changed! He promised he wouldn’t hit me I mean tag jump again at end of set”…

Edited By: SuperFly on Jan 19th 2024, 16:01:09

galleri Game profile

Game Moderator
Primary, Express, Tourney, & FFA
14,317

Jan 19th 2024, 16:00:40

Originally posted by SuperFly:
Let me get this straight.

Last year LaF and Black Holes crew hit Evo.

Following set LaF suicides Evo

Following set some LaF guys tag Evo and jump tag to finish as LaF.

This set no LaF tag. So they play in Evo while they wait for end of set to tag jump to LaF tag to bring glorious glory to LaF and another #1 victory.

Did I get the events correctly?

Who all is playing in Evo that is LaF?

You were LaF once SF...... and where are you?
He isn't jumping back to an LaF.
This is the last person to do that.


https://gyazo.com/...b3bb28dddf908cdbcfd162513

Kahuna: Ya you just wrote the fkn equation, not helping me at all. Lol n I hated algebra.

SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 19th 2024, 16:03:04

Originally posted by galleri:
Originally posted by SuperFly:
Let me get this straight.

Last year LaF and Black Holes crew hit Evo.

Following set LaF suicides Evo

Following set some LaF guys tag Evo and jump tag to finish as LaF.

This set no LaF tag. So they play in Evo while they wait for end of set to tag jump to LaF tag to bring glorious glory to LaF and another #1 victory.

Did I get the events correctly?

Who all is playing in Evo that is LaF?

You were LaF once SF...... and where are you?
He isn't jumping back to an LaF.
This is the last person to do that.


En4cer & Cordy, who else is there with you Galleri?

I was also RED and Evo for a long time. I ain’t get an invite to this reunion set. Just saying lol

Btw no one has the right to attack my character when it comes to Evo. As a player who tags with Mercs most sets I have devoted plenty of turns, time and resources to protect the interests of Evo. So if anyone thinks that I am against Evo, you are wrong.

I stand with Evo and I send them my thoughts and prayers until I am told to send some thing else in their defense…..

I am just scratching my head is all. Especially with certain folks who are mad / disappointed at Cath for his actions currently as these Evo guys were very “upset” at LaF players not long ago lol

Edited By: SuperFly on Jan 19th 2024, 16:08:18

galleri Game profile

Game Moderator
Primary, Express, Tourney, & FFA
14,317

Jan 19th 2024, 16:09:30

Originally posted by SuperFly:
Originally posted by galleri:
Originally posted by SuperFly:
Let me get this straight.

Last year LaF and Black Holes crew hit Evo.

Following set LaF suicides Evo

Following set some LaF guys tag Evo and jump tag to finish as LaF.

This set no LaF tag. So they play in Evo while they wait for end of set to tag jump to LaF tag to bring glorious glory to LaF and another #1 victory.

Did I get the events correctly?

Who all is playing in Evo that is LaF?

You were LaF once SF...... and where are you?
He isn't jumping back to an LaF.
This is the last person to do that.


En4cer & Cordy, who else is there with you Galleri?

I was also RED and Evo for a long time. I ain’t get an invite to this reunion set. Just saying lol

Btw no one has the right to attack my character when it comes to Evo. As a player who tags with Mercs most sets I have devoted plenty of turns to protect Evo so whoever thinks I an against Evo is wrong.

I am just scratching my head is all. Especially with certain folks who are mad / disappointed at Cath for his actions currently as these Evo guys were very “upset” at LaF players not long ago lol


You seem to think there are a lot more players in Evo from LaF than there are.
Btw I was in EVO for a very long time. I was invited back for a reunion set. I am sorry you didn't get invited to the reunion set. Maybe Devo didn't have your email?
I will direct him to this post.


https://gyazo.com/...b3bb28dddf908cdbcfd162513

Kahuna: Ya you just wrote the fkn equation, not helping me at all. Lol n I hated algebra.

SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 19th 2024, 16:11:48

All good amiga. Tmac, Tertious, Andrew all do lol

Don’t worry myself like the Mercs tag are all with Evo in spirit :)

Rasp Game profile

Member
1003

Jan 19th 2024, 16:35:50

Originally posted by Cathankins:
... surgical strikes to respond to this killers aggressions.


Originally posted by Cathankins:


Now it’s over so let it go and stop dwelling in the past man. That was like 20 minutes ago. It’s time to move on


This guy posts news from April 2023. Then says it's over and it's time to move on.

You also in-game messaged #2 (en4cer) to see if he was tmac this set. After he told you he was en4cer, you still decided to go after him when there was no real beef there between you two.

Edited By: Rasp on Jan 19th 2024, 16:38:40. Reason: clarification
See Original Post
[16:18:00] znc-rasp: We can kill bushido, but not bushifo, zack, moriarty, ghost rider, or darkling
[16:18:07] Req: Is that all the same person?
[16:18:12] symba: yea
[16:18:25] mob: my kids are like dad why are you laughing so much

Coalie Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1668

Jan 19th 2024, 17:10:03

Originally posted by SuperFly:
Let me get this straight.

Last year LaF and Black Holes crew hit Evo.

Following set LaF suicides Evo

Following set some LaF guys tag Evo and jump tag to finish as LaF.

This set no LaF tag. So they play in Evo while they wait for end of set to tag jump to LaF tag to bring glorious glory to LaF and another #1 victory.

Did I get the events correctly?




does not look good for sure.
Coalie, MBA B.Acc
Mercenaries for Hire
Deputy Commander

cordycsw Game profile

Member
394

Jan 19th 2024, 17:38:10

when did we tag evo and jump tag to finish as laf???

and this set we are in evo cos we just wanna net.

no one was thinking and will be jumping tag back to laf.

seriously no one is as lame as u superfly.

u shld go reflect. i think u really made a lot of ppl actually leave this game.

arent u an adult?



cordycsw Game profile

Member
394

Jan 19th 2024, 17:39:12

i normally dont even want to comment on all these thats happening.

just want to stfu and net.

but u really cross the line with the stuff u say



SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 19th 2024, 17:46:54

Originally posted by cordycsw:
when did we tag evo and jump tag to finish as laf???

and this set we are in evo cos we just wanna net.

no one was thinking and will be jumping tag back to laf.

seriously no one is as lame as u superfly.

u shld go reflect. i think u really made a lot of ppl actually leave this game.

arent u an adult?


You shut your mouth. You always want to net.

Who do you think is going to waste his turns to kill your suiciders so you can keep netting?

Ain’t gonna be you so be greatful to your protecters you lame bot farming adult…

Also it’s been beat like a dead horse. Laf has chased more players and been the most damaging to this game than any other players and groups combined

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 19th 2024, 17:48:14

Originally posted by Requiem:
At this point, I feel like most people who've had a grievance with any other alliance have been satisfied with their vengeance.

It should be time to move forward somehow, including stuff like this.

I don't support your actions here, Cath. I don't know you so I will withhold judgment on your character.




Oh I don’t care about the alliance beefs, my issue was that they unfairly killed my country. It was, just like enforcers country a very big pure netter. So I chose to do the exact same thing. I felt this was a fair price to pay. I have no beef with this guy or any idea who he is I hit him because he specially was one of the guys that did that to me.


I didn’t hit J V R K (#79) James Bond even though he is laf, because he didn’t kill me. Say what you guys want but my reaction was fair and not overly harsh.

SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 19th 2024, 17:52:31

Originally posted by cordycsw:
when did we tag evo and jump tag to finish as laf???


When LaF killed all of the Evo players except the LaF players who then all jumped over to LaF…..

Same set that Cath is referencing about being killed and why is is out with his Vendetta

Mr Gainsboro Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1476

Jan 19th 2024, 18:15:53

Originally posted by SuperFly:
Originally posted by galleri:
Originally posted by SuperFly:
Let me get this straight.

Last year LaF and Black Holes crew hit Evo.

Following set LaF suicides Evo

Following set some LaF guys tag Evo and jump tag to finish as LaF.

This set no LaF tag. So they play in Evo while they wait for end of set to tag jump to LaF tag to bring glorious glory to LaF and another #1 victory.

Did I get the events correctly?

Who all is playing in Evo that is LaF?

You were LaF once SF...... and where are you?
He isn't jumping back to an LaF.
This is the last person to do that.


En4cer & Cordy, who else is there with you Galleri?

I was also RED and Evo for a long time. I ain’t get an invite to this reunion set. Just saying lol

Btw no one has the right to attack my character when it comes to Evo. As a player who tags with Mercs most sets I have devoted plenty of turns, time and resources to protect the interests of Evo. So if anyone thinks that I am against Evo, you are wrong.

I stand with Evo and I send them my thoughts and prayers until I am told to send some thing else in their defense…..

I am just scratching my head is all. Especially with certain folks who are mad / disappointed at Cath for his actions currently as these Evo guys were very “upset” at LaF players not long ago lol


We all play in evo. Evo is the new LaF. Dont listen to other people lying to you.
Don of LaF

Mr Gainsboro Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1476

Jan 19th 2024, 18:18:17

Originally posted by SuperFly:
Originally posted by cordycsw:
when did we tag evo and jump tag to finish as laf???

and this set we are in evo cos we just wanna net.

no one was thinking and will be jumping tag back to laf.

seriously no one is as lame as u superfly.

u shld go reflect. i think u really made a lot of ppl actually leave this game.

arent u an adult?


You shut your mouth. You always want to net.

Who do you think is going to waste his turns to kill your suiciders so you can keep netting?

Ain’t gonna be you so be greatful to your protecters you lame bot farming adult…

Also it’s been beat like a dead horse. Laf has chased more players and been the most damaging to this game than any other players and groups combined


Must be hard to cry yourself to sleep every night thinking about how LaF have wronged you?
Don of LaF

ツ

Member
388

Jan 19th 2024, 18:20:58

Originally posted by cordycsw:
when did we tag evo and jump tag to finish as laf???

and this set we are in evo cos we just wanna net.

no one was thinking and will be jumping tag back to laf.

seriously no one is as lame as u superfly.

u shld go reflect. i think u really made a lot of ppl actually leave this game.

arent u an adult?


I just want to save this snippet. Might need it in 26 days.

SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 19th 2024, 18:34:27

Originally posted by Mr Gainsboro:
Originally posted by SuperFly:
Originally posted by cordycsw:
when did we tag evo and jump tag to finish as laf???

and this set we are in evo cos we just wanna net.

no one was thinking and will be jumping tag back to laf.

seriously no one is as lame as u superfly.

u shld go reflect. i think u really made a lot of ppl actually leave this game.

arent u an adult?


You shut your mouth. You always want to net.

Who do you think is going to waste his turns to kill your suiciders so you can keep netting?

Ain’t gonna be you so be greatful to your protecters you lame bot farming adult…

Also it’s been beat like a dead horse. Laf has chased more players and been the most damaging to this game than any other players and groups combined


Must be hard to cry yourself to sleep every night thinking about how LaF have wronged you?


Bro at this rate it is just funny to keep picking on LaF babies.

Let us not forget that I have done more for LaF in the years that I spent in LaF than most LaF members have done in their lifetime with LaF.

Dont forget Gains that It was you, Gerdler, myself and one handful of others that would restart time and time again when we were at war while all your other soft babies like Cordy would take the rest of the set off cuz they lost their original country without walling.

I played many sets in LaF in the kill squad to keep our soft handed babies safe despite then creating all of the suiciders by farming players into suiciding rage. So if Evo is the new LaF than have no fear brother Gains. I am here once again as your kill squad to keep your soft baby members safe :)

Glory to LaF i mean Evo!

BTW let me know when you have the LaF tag ready for us LaF vets to jump into for end of set victory party!



LaF Forever!


Edited By: SuperFly on Jan 22nd 2024, 5:06:28

Rasp Game profile

Member
1003

Jan 19th 2024, 18:54:01

Originally posted by Mr Gainsboro:


We all play in evo. Evo is the new LaF. Dont listen to other people lying to you.


The troll is real.
[16:18:00] znc-rasp: We can kill bushido, but not bushifo, zack, moriarty, ghost rider, or darkling
[16:18:07] Req: Is that all the same person?
[16:18:12] symba: yea
[16:18:25] mob: my kids are like dad why are you laughing so much

galleri Game profile

Game Moderator
Primary, Express, Tourney, & FFA
14,317

Jan 19th 2024, 19:28:21

Originally posted by Rasp:
Originally posted by Mr Gainsboro:


We all play in evo. Evo is the new LaF. Dont listen to other people lying to you.


The troll is real.

Rasp
he stole my idea! :(


https://gyazo.com/...b3bb28dddf908cdbcfd162513

Kahuna: Ya you just wrote the fkn equation, not helping me at all. Lol n I hated algebra.

Coalie Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1668

Jan 19th 2024, 19:54:49

I’ll go ahead and say it.

Cordy I hope you have a nice peaceful set and hope you get a nice finish. Your post to SF gave me a good chuckle and I enjoyed it.

En4 aka Thor, sorry about what happened bro. Never go full r4tard in your ingame messages.

Have you all have a great weekend
Coalie, MBA B.Acc
Mercenaries for Hire
Deputy Commander

Chevs

Member
2061

Jan 19th 2024, 21:10:31

TLDR?

en4cer died?

tbh he deserves it for being a spineless cuck who has turned a blind eye time and time again to the atrocities committed by the rest of LaF leadership.

GJ whoever took out the trash
SOF Head Of Poop
2019-04-03 21:40:26 PS the stinky deyicks (#599) Beryl Houston (#360) LaF 30638A (43783A)
En4cer: Chevs... u would have beaten me by more than 100m

Thunder Game profile

Member
2323

Jan 19th 2024, 21:53:05

killing is bad
*waters his peace tree*
Thunder
ICQ 56183127
MSN


2010 Armchair GMs League Champion
DEFEATER OF MRFORD!
FoCuS'D

NA FA/Senate
Lords


Ninja since born....Awesome Forever!

Symbolic Game profile

Member
847

Jan 19th 2024, 22:18:47

Lol netters suiciding netters. What has this game gone too!

Kill4Free Game profile

Member
3196

Jan 20th 2024, 16:55:41

I love the post where someone said that two wrongs do not make a right. I fully disagree with that! If the first wrong is ignored, someone is gonna do it to you again as they know you will just bend over.
So many ways to die, only one way to live...
NBK

Requiem Game profile

Member
EE Patron
9477

Jan 20th 2024, 17:15:13

https://youtu.be/...Ii-kM?si=8_Awu3x90BW714EF

DerrickICN Game profile

Member
EE Patron
6344

Jan 21st 2024, 6:39:29

Hmm. Read the thread and I don’t not support cath. I’m likely to the same thing under the same circumstances. Kudos to the boy for being honest.

SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 21st 2024, 8:30:02

I support Cath. Go git’em

Originally posted by Symbolic:
Lol netters suiciding netters. What has this game gone too!


Eye for eye

Originally posted by Kill4Free:
I love the post where someone said that two wrongs do not make a right. I fully disagree with that! If the first wrong is ignored, someone is gonna do it to you again as they know you will just bend over.


Yup f around and find out

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 21st 2024, 10:00:52

Could not agree more. There has to be a deterrent and balance is vital. Nobody ever has a problem with fighting until the victims start fighting back, I’ve heard every justification for why why it was justified to do the same to me and oh now it’s an issue, maybe all the players here should have a march and hold up signs and cry about their feelings more.

As I was told 10 months ago it was justified because I was suspected of sending $$$ to merc.

Well, ironically I suspected enforcer of the exact same as well. So thankfully that’s settled everyone here agrees it was cool now and I am certain will not be hypocritical about this.

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 21st 2024, 10:05:51

Originally posted by Thunder:
killing is bad
*waters his peace tree*


*grabs a few leafs off that peace tree for later*

UgolinoII Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1329

Jan 21st 2024, 10:07:45

I was LaF once. It was perfectly fine and dandy. Why can't we all just be friends :D

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 21st 2024, 10:15:09

Originally posted by UgolinoII:
I was LaF once. It was perfectly fine and dandy. Why can't we all just be friends :D


I seriously don’t care about the clan beefs. I’ve told everyone here that a thousand times. I played at evo with Tmac because that’s my boy and as Tertius said I respected him not only as a player but moreso as a kind human. I don’t know the history of these clans or the beefs. Don’t care either.

As the others have said I believe in an eye for an eye. If you get me I’m going to get you back when and where it hurts. Often times this involves waiting for months, years, or decades. On this occasion obviously it took 10 months for my chance

Gerdler your next my boy whenever you stop hiding ;-)

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 21st 2024, 10:20:09

I will also say evo had nothing to do with this or any idea. One of the reasons I left the clans is I don’t like having my hands tied if someone attacks me or it being a problem if I respond overly aggressive. That’s my style and I recognized it wasn’t evos. We have different temperaments and I preferred to be able to war when I feel it’s justified. For situations like this right here.


I haven’t played this server in 10 months or talked or logged into the evo site since then. I came for a fight and evo had nothing to do with it. Until obviously I hit them.

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 21st 2024, 10:32:04

When I went Laf hunting I also did not expect to end up finding one in evo. But hey when fate aligns I’m not going to question it

ツ

Member
388

Jan 21st 2024, 10:34:10

I do not think you are in the wrong. Laf ran suiciders against Evo multiple times and now that laf is hiding it is wrong to hit them. Screw that. Guilty by association.

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 21st 2024, 10:37:10

Hey thanks man

Suicidal Game profile

Member
2412

Jan 21st 2024, 16:37:38

Originally posted by Cathankins:
Could not agree more. There has to be a deterrent and balance is vital. Nobody ever has a problem with fighting until the victims start fighting back, I’ve heard every justification for why why it was justified to do the same to me and oh now it’s an issue, maybe all the players here should have a march and hold up signs and cry about their feelings more.

As I was told 10 months ago it was justified because I was suspected of sending $$$ to merc.

Well, ironically I suspected enforcer of the exact same as well. So thankfully that’s settled everyone here agrees it was cool now and I am certain will not be hypocritical about this.


Can we wear 'giner hats?

Coalie Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1668

Jan 21st 2024, 16:37:58

fratboi99 playing fuc fuc games, his teammates suffer.
Coalie, MBA B.Acc
Mercenaries for Hire
Deputy Commander

Shweezy Game profile

Member
EE Patron
1188

Jan 21st 2024, 16:41:41

Originally posted by Coalie:
fratboi99 playing fuc fuc games, his teammates suffer.


Are we sure fratboi99 didnt send this cat guy to stop evo from getting the win, unknowingly hitting his pal En4 ?

Catch me on ir c

SuperFly Game profile

Member
5655

Jan 21st 2024, 16:44:04

Originally posted by Shweezy:
Originally posted by Coalie:
fratboi99 playing fuc fuc games, his teammates suffer.


Are we sure fratboi99 didnt send this cat guy to stop evo from getting the win, unknowingly hitting his pal En4 ?



Fratboi asked me to nail the 3 ex LaF guys (even gave me the country numbers) that are currently tagged monsters but I refused.

Told him I am waiting to reunite the lost sheep of LaF in the LaF tag that I am currently holding for us LaF vets to tag up and win the triple crown in.

Josey Wales

Member
520

Jan 21st 2024, 19:35:58

We are accepting any Oilers that want to come come and hunt Red Oil with us, if the need arises.

Marc

Member
83

Jan 22nd 2024, 6:31:05

Originally posted by Cathankins:
If I’m a blood from north side and go hang out on the south side I don’t get to just pretend all the times I banged on their homies didn’t happen that old beef is there til it’s over my boys


You're not a gang banger from any side though. You're a nerd playing an online text game.

With the rest of us.
<Earthnews> BR - Covid Booster 3 (#53) [GARGLE] -> Neal (#483) [iLaF] 6C 7B

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 22nd 2024, 8:32:53

Originally posted by Marc:
Originally posted by Cathankins:
If I’m a blood from north side and go hang out on the south side I don’t get to just pretend all the times I banged on their homies didn’t happen that old beef is there til it’s over my boys


You're not a gang banger from any side though. You're a nerd playing an online text game.

With the rest of us.
Originally posted by Marc:
Originally posted by Cathankins:
If I’m a blood from north side and go hang out on the south side I don’t get to just pretend all the times I banged on their homies didn’t happen that old beef is there til it’s over my boys


You're not a gang banger from any side though. You're a nerd playing an online text game.

With the rest of us.


Certainly not falling for that one officer Marc

Cathankins Game profile

Member
1834

Jan 22nd 2024, 8:33:58

Originally posted by Shweezy:
Originally posted by Coalie:
fratboi99 playing fuc fuc games, his teammates suffer.


Are we sure fratboi99 didnt send this cat guy to stop evo from getting the win, unknowingly hitting his pal En4 ?



I admit it this is the truth. I cannot lie any longer my conscience simply will not allow it