THE ONCE PER RESET MEETING OF THE COMMITTEE OF ONE TO DISCUSS AND ADJUST OUR RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE POLICIES HAS JUST CONCLUDED, AND I HAVE BEEN TASKED WITH BRINGING OUR NEW POLICIES TO ALL OF YOU.

THE FIRST CHANGE I WILL ANNOUNCE HERE IS FROM THE MIND OF THE INDOMITABLE DON_DANGER! WHILE IT SEEMS HE IS NO LONGER WITH US, WE PROMISED HIM HE WOULD GET CREDIT FOR HIS IDEA. WE ALMOST ALWAYS LIVE UP TO OUR PROMISES. SOMETIMES.

PRETALIATION: LAST RESET, WE NOTICED THAT ACTS OF AGGRESSION AGAINST MEMBERS OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! WERE OFTEN PRECEDED BY INCURSIONS INTO OUR LANDS BY SPIES FROM A THIRD PARTY. WE ARE ONTO YOU!

HENCEFORTH, ALL WHO ARE CAUGHT SPYING AGAINST THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! WILL BE CONSIDERED COLLABORATORS IN A FUTURE ATTACK AGAINST US. RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE ACTIONS MAY BE AUTHORIZED BY THE COMMITTEE AGAINST ANY AND ALL COLLABORATORS AND SYMPATHIZERS.

NOW, ON TO CHANGE NUMBER TWO: LAST RESET, WE SOLIDIFIED OUR RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE POLICY WITH SPECIFICS ON HOW WE WOULD RESPOND TO ACTS OF AGGRESSION AGAINST OUR MEMBERS. WE NOW BELIEVE THAT THIS WAS A MISTAKE, AND ARE CHANGING OUR RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE POLICY TO THE FOLLOWING:

THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! DOES NOT RECOGNIZE THE RIGHT OF AGGRESSORS TO DICTATE THE TERMS UNDER WHICH WE MAY DEFEND OUR LAND AGAINST SAID AGGRESSORS. RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE WILL CONSIST OF WHATEVER ACTIONS WE FEEL APPROPRIATE, AND MAY NOT BE THE SAME IN ALL CASES. FACTORS INFLUENCING THE SEVERITY OF RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE ACTIONS INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO - MOOD, TIME OF DAY, LEVEL OF INEBRATION, HUNGER, BOREDOM AND THE CURRENT PHASE OF THE MOON.

THIS CONCLUDES THIS RESET'S CHANGES TO OUR RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE POLICIES. HERE'S WISHING MOST OF YOU HAVE A HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS RESET.

HA!

SAM
CHAMPION OF THE EUGLAF DIVISION,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

GREETINGS CLAN [DANGER]!

MAY I POINT OUT THAT YOU CAN RELIEVE YOURSELF OF THE PRESSURE OF UPHOLDING SAID POLICIES BY JOINING LAF AS A DIVISION OF POWER. THE OFFER TO RECRUIT A MEMBER INTO THE DIVISION OF POWER IS STILL OPEN AS WELL

JUST SAYING

LEAVING IT OUT THERE

JUST HANGING

I CAN SEE SOMETHING ELSE YOU LEFT OUT THERE

JUST HANGING

ITS CERTAINLY PRETTY BUT DO YOU THINK REALLY IT IS PROPER?

O.O

PUT IT BACK IN YOUR PANTS! DON"T LEAVE IT HANGING!

SUCH A MIGHTY FAIL BY EUGENE IN REGARD TO THE NAME OF THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

HE'S A LAFER, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT, ELFY???

TL;DR

Sam, I think that the wheel of doom (AKA the Wheel of Random Retals) should be dusted off and placed in the care of the mighty clan [DANGER]. It was always the only truely objective means of determining the appropriate retals.

DEAR, THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

I UNDERSTAND YOUR PERTURBATION WITH THE CURRENT STATE OF RETALIATORY POLICIES REGARDING RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE. HOWEVER, I BELIEVE THAT YOUR CURRENT DECISION TO GIVE VARYING LEVELS OF RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF IMPORTANCE BASED ON WHIMSY LACKING A CERTAIN POLITICAL DEBONAIR THAT I HAVE COME TO EXPECT FROM YOU.

I HEREBY REQUEST THAT YOU ADD A DIVINE HAPPY HOUR WHEREUPON YOU AVAIL YOURSELF CERTAIN RIGHTS AT A DISCOUNT PRICE BETWEEN 2-3 ON SUNDAYS THROUGH THURSDAYS.

I BELIEVE THIS WILL HAVE THE DOUBLE EFFECT(AFFECT?) OF BOTH ADDING SPICE TO THE RICE OF LIFE, AND ALSO LEAD TO A MORE BROADLY APPLIED AND ACCEPTED POLICY OF UTTERLY RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE.

ALSO, WHY NO PHRASE THAT PAYS THIS SET?

BROUHAHA!

THE_CLOAKED
(MY CAT'S BREATH SMELLS LIKE SWEDISH BERRIES)

I LIKE CAPS!

iMag STILL HOLDS TRUE TO:

THE PHRASE THAT PAYS!!!

HehifeelenlightenedReadthefirstrowandwaslikeokwhateverIllmakeyourheadhurtbecauseyourefusetowriteinawaysothaticanreadmorethanthelasttworowswithoutmyheadhurtingYouseelasttimeyougaveupNowitsonagainandillwinagainkk

you wont win E1 :P

DEAR, THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

I DEMAND A REFUND ON MY INVESTMENT INTO YOUR CLAN. I BOUGHT THE COFFEE MUG WITH FREE T-SHIRT. THE T-SHIRT IS AWESOME. WITH THAT SAID THE COFFEE MUG ONLY HOLDS 11.25 OUNCES. I DEMAND A FULL REFUND OR A SHOT GLASS THAT HOLDS EXACTLY .75 OUNCES OF FLUID.

THANKS,


YOUR LOVE REQUIEM.

DEAR THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER] !

THE ALLCAPS WORD IS HURTING MY EYES, BUT AT LEAST NOW I KNOW YOU HAVE POLICIES.
SO IF I HIT YOU ONCE, YOU HIT ME BACK, IF I HIT AGAIN, YOU RETAL AGAIN, SO WE ARE LANDTRADING THIS SET RIGHT ?

HA !
ALLIANCE

ARCHAIC: I LIKE THE WHEEL OF DOOM IDEA. HOWEVER, WE'LL NEED TO [DANGER] IT UP A BIT. DETAILS BELOW.

THE CLOAKED: EVERY HOUR IS HAPPY HOUR AT THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]! THE PHRASE THAT PAYS WAS A WAY FOR ALLIANCES TO AVOID THE TERRIBLE VENGEANCE OF DOUBLE SHOT THURSDAYS. SINCE WE NO LONGER HAVE SPECIFIC RULES OF RETRIBUTION, DOUBLE SHOT THURSDAY NO LONGER APPLIES, THEREBY MAKING THE PHRASE THAT PAYS OBSOLETE.

PALADIN: EVERYONE LIKES THE LETTERS OF POWER. WELL, EVERYONE OF SIGNIFICANCE ANYWAY.

REQUIEM: WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE. WE RAN OUT OF 12 OZ MUGS DUE TO UNEXPECTED DEMAND. IF YOU WILL PROVIDE ME WITH AN ADDRESS, WE WILL REMEDY THE SITUATION.

AGUSJO: NO, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. WE WILL DECIDE OUR RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE ACTIONS THIS RESET WITH "DARTS OF FURY"

EVERY DAY, BILL AND I WILL GET TOGETHER AND DRINK UNTIL THINGS BECOME SLIGHTLY BLURRY - THIS MEANS I WILL DRINK 13 SAM ADAMS WINTER ALES, AND BILL WILL DRINK HALF A WINE COOLER.

WE WILL EACH BE GIVEN THREE STEEL TIP DARTS.

WE WILL THEN HURL THEM MERCILESSLY AT EACH OTHER FROM 20 PACES.

THE AMOUNT OF BLOOD DRAWN AND RAGE INDUCED WILL DETERMINE THE SEVERITY OF OUR RIGHTEOUS DEFENSE ACTIONS AGAINST OUR ADVERSARIES FOR THAT DAY.

I WILL WORK ON A CHART TO SHARE WITH YOU ALL WITHIN THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. BLOOD DRAWN WILL BE MEASURED IN TACO BELL FIRE SAUCE PACKETS. WE HAVE NOT YET DETERMINED HOW TO QUANTIFY RAGE.

SIFOS: WOULD YOU MIND EDITING YOUR POST TO BREAK IT UP INTO THREE LINES? BROKEN THREADS INFURIATE ME!

HA!

SAM
MINISTER OF OFFLINE GAMING,
THE MIGHTY CLAN [DANGER]!

i read this in a yelling tone in my head... now i am exhausted

BY THE POWER INVESTED IN ME BY PANG&CO I DECLARE SAM DANGER THE OFFICIAL MASCOT OF EE.

DARAKNA LEARN TO USE CAPS. SIFOS LEARN TO WRITE, IN SAM`S THREADS