Originally
posted by
Patience:
My pet peeves:
1) Asshats who know they have to turn ahead, but instead of changing lanes when they have plenty of room, they creep up beside me and turn on their signal light at the last possible minute, expecting me to hit the brakes so they can get in. There's not even anyone behind me, but I'm supposed to adjust my driving because they can't be bothered to change lanes in advance without inconveniencing another driver, and refuse to slow down to get into the totally empty CHASM behind me. You know who you are, and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest your underpants. EFFIN' CHANGE LANES IN EFFIN' ADVANCE INSTEAD OF EXPECTING THE WORLD TO REVOLVE AROUND YOU!
Something similar happens every day on a certain intersection (and beyond) I need to cross everytime I drive home from work. Warning: Wall of Text ahead.
See, in a recent construction project that resulted in an additional lane on both sides of I-10--and on the on/off ramps-- around Tallahassee, the architects who designed the whole thing thought it would be extremely funny to build the on-ramps for the westbound side from both Capitol Circle NE and Thomasville Road so that they merged into one, single, on-ramp. Not one, single, LARGER, on-ramp. Just merging 2 ramps into one. 2, single-lane ramps into one, single-lane ramp. With maybe a 200-foot area to merge. For cars coming off THE two most important streets in the city.
Well, before you get on the on-ramp from Thomasville, you first need to cross an intersection, complete with traffic signals, between Thomasville and a big bypass street from Capital Circle (because before the construction project, you could ONLY get to I-10 from Capital Circle). Just before, during, and right after crossing this intersection, is where the fun begins.
See, right after this intersection, is the bridge that goes over I-10. An 8-lane bridge (3 lanes in each direction, and 2 turning lanes, both to get on the on-ramp) which has the curious ability to shake for no apparent reason while you're waiting to turn. The 3-lane side heading north is jam-packed with vehicles, most of which want to turn left to get onto I-10. Oh, btw, you need to be in the left lane before you can get to the turning lanes. And the left lane is normally stopped because everyone in the other 2 lanes is busy merging on top of everyone else. So people will gun it in the middle/right lanes, to get ahead of the slow-moving left lane, in the hopes of getting a spot near the beginning of the line. When the light turns green at the intersection, a million gods of death are denied their rightful sacrifices, daily, only because of pure, dumb luck.
Once you pass through the intersection, you have very little time to choose which turning lane you want to get on I-10 (and make sure you don't hit the traffic island that juts out just a little too far in the left lane). You can choose the far left lane, or, the near left lane. The far lane is almost always filled with vehicles, for a reason. The far left lane isn't the lane that has to merge--within 500 feet--AFTER turning onto the on-ramp. The people who choose the near turning lane are hoping to get ahead of the people in the far lane, but they have to merge after getting on the ramp. When the light turns green at THAT intersection, God himself steps down from the heavens to direct traffic, because there have been NO reports of explosions and/or fatalities at the first merge point on that ramp.
Ok, so you turn onto the ramp, to get to I-10. You cross another bridge that goes over Capital Circle, avoiding getting hit by all the mergers in the process. While you're crossing this bridge (which sits right beside I-10, which also goes over Capital Circle), you see that the architects and engineers or whatever have designed it so that the traffic lights for the on-ramp from Capital Circle have been synchronized with the ones for the ramp from Thomasville. Which means, a whole bunch of vehicles, from two different, very important streets, have been specifically timed to collide with each other at the merge point between these two ramps. I suspect it's due to the rising insurance costs due to the hurricanes and crap.
Anyways, if you're on the ramp coming from Thomasville, you're in luck, because you don't have to merge. THEY do. Hey, I didn't say it was good luck. And it's Capital Circle, which has plenty of warehouses and other industrial-type businesses on it, so you have to contend with big rigs whose drivers care less about you than they care about the loads they are hauling (and probably blowing, if the driving of some of those truck drivers indicates). So, everyone's forcibly squeezed into a one-lane on ramp, but at least by this time, you have another 3 lanes of I-10 to pick from. Which, in rush hour, is kinda like saying "Hey, this clan of honey badgers won't hurt me nearly as badly as this pride of lions, right?"