A door creaks open, and a single overhead light flickers to life. Poncho, carrying a single gopro camera, peeks into the room to see Lefty setting up camera's up in the dark.

Poncho: Ahem

Lefty: Oh, hi. Sorry, yah, Started without you sorry.

Lefty: A go pro? Seriously? That's child's play. Do you even know how to use those things? Last time you tried “recording,” on the go pro you ended up livestreaming your hairy back to the Alliance Discord for two hours.

Poncho: That was art, Lefty. It was performance expression. People need to understand the raw texture of an aging ferret.

Lefty: They understood, alright. I’m still getting flashbacks of the comments section. Someone said your back looked like a chia pet drowning in cream of broccoli soup.

Poncho: [ignores him] Anyway! We’ll need a microphone. A real one. Not that karaoke thing you’ve been spitting into since 1997.

Lefty: That’s a vintage Logitech headset, you mangy hipster. I used that to negotiate peace between UCN and IX back in the double zero.

Poncho: the year two thousand you mean?

Lefty: For a ferret you aren't that cool.

Poncho: For a ferret you aren't smart. I remember you muted yourself for three hours and thought everyone was ignoring you?

Lefty: Tactical silence. It was a strategy.

Poncho: Sure, General Whisper. Anyway, I was thinking—first episode, we talk about the glory days. “When Wolves Ruled the Web.” or "When IX won a network title", or "Mehul Patel, where is he now?"
We could invite Mehul over for a cup of tea, or do the wolf one. Give Empy a bath and for nostalgia points—he’ll probably cry, write a haiku, and pee in the tub a little. That’s content. Or we can invite some of the uhh...people that are...
Lefty?

Lefty: Yah?

Poncho: I just realized there's a bunch of like, zombies walking around just like drooling on themselves. What the hell are those things?! They're hideous?!

Lefty: Oh, Um, SuperFly told me they were called bots. They're like AI players. The alliances...grab em by the land farm.

Poncho: Well, thats robot harassment, what happened to just grabbing each other by the landfarm?

Lefty: That went away when the golden girls went off the air, anyway, we need an intro theme. Something classy. Maybe… howling layered over a distorted modem dial-up tone?

Poncho: snaps fingers Genius! Like… the sound of ancient servers waking from slumber!

Lefty: Exactly. And we’ll have segments! Like “Alliance Obituaries” — for people who haven’t logged in since to Earth Empires since 2012.

Poncho: Or “Drama from the Den” — where we read old forum posts out loud in dramatic voices.

Lefty: Ohhh! I can do BigRedDog’s rants! [clears throat] “You can’t call it an alliance if you’re farming my bases while I’m sleeping, you spineless pixels!”

Poncho: Beautiful. Tears in my eyes. This’ll go viral for sure.

Lefty: I can see it now—thousands of listeners tuning in, nostalgic veterans coming out of retirement, people digging out their old avatars and posting them on...on....well discord probably...

Poncho: Maybe even Paradigm's leader will come on and talk about hunting kangaroos!

Lefty: I don't think he does that. He, does musical stuff.

Poncho: Yah but we want clicks MATEY!

Lefty: You can't copy accents anymore ponch. They call that cultural appropriation and its highly offensive to some humans.

Poncho: What? Why? It's a great sign of strength to be able to laugh at yourself. Are you serious?

Lefty: Very serious. You can't do that.

Poncho: That's crazy! Ya know, back in the day we fought wars, we tamed wild beasts, we conquered the moon, and we became the most fiercest predator in the animal kingdom, and now you're telling me people are scared of words?

Lefty: Poncho, let's change the subject, this isn't feeling like a safe space for me.

Poncho: Fine, what if we got Croaker? Or somebody recent? Darkmere? She led the SOL?

Lefty: Or Wax!

Poncho: Or—wait for it—

Lefty: Well?

Poncho: I said WAIT FOR IT....

Lefty: (looking around) For what? WHO?

Poncho: Then we’ll interview him there! “Lefty and Poncho: Road Trip to...."

Lefty: Barring your little brain hemorrhages there, We’ll need sponsors.

Poncho: I’m thinking adult diapers, based on our audience demographic.

Lefty: Perfect fit. Literally.

Poncho: Alright then, Lefty. Let’s do it. One last howl for the old pack.

Lefty: You mean... we’re really doing this?

Poncho: Damn right we are. The wolves, or archangels, or leagues, or multies or whatever they called themselves 50 years ago may have aged—but the bite’s still there.

Lefty: Alright then. On three.

Poncho: One…

Lefty: Two…

Both: Awooooooooooo!

Lefty: "Hey Poncho?! Come out from behind her! She doesn't like people that close to her butt."
Poncho: "Huh? Who me? Excuse me sir I will stand wherever..." *Squints and leans closer.* "Lefty, is that you?"
Lefty: "Sure as a dingleberry hanging you mangy old man!"
Poncho: "Well, I'll be damned! I didn't think you'd live this long!"
Lefty: Speak for yourself! You look like a shriveled hairless eel.
Poncho: Lefty, is this...*whispering* Alliance Talk?
Lefty: Looks like it. I mean, it still looks the same, but...it almost looks like a museum now.
Poncho: Yah, where's Archy and En4cer? Surely they'd be here arguing over who's butt to sniff.
Lefty: I think that was BigRedDog, or Bluedawg.
Poncho: Well surely Empyrean would be here complaining about getting fired or his girlfriend breaking up with him or something right?
Lefty: Well, him I spotted peeing in the corner back there.
Poncho: God, thirty years as a wolf and he's still peeing in the same corner? That's horrible. He has to have some sort of horrible diseases by now.
Lefty: I wouldn't venture over there. It smells worse then old ferrets.
Poncho: So what do you make of this? Should be make wax statues of all the old alliance people and make it at least, look busy in here?
Lefty: No, It's quiet. We always wanted a quiet place for us to run free without the nasty saw dust getting in our toes. We could retire here.
Poncho: Are you kidding me? Retire here? There isn't even a pension!
Lefty: Right, Know who we should call? Paradigm.
Poncho: No! Not the netters!
Lefty: Wait, I think I mean Paladine? Yah! Paladine!
Poncho: Oh lefty, all these old people are busy with their kids and some of even got gray hair and knee problems now. They can't play with us anymore. They're just getting fat on the couch.
Lefty: How? I mean, What do you mean?
Poncho: Maybe Archaic, Paladine, Bluedawg and some other people will come back if we clean out Empy's pee corner.
Lefty: Have you seen his posts lately? He's just waiting to die.
Poncho: He's always been melodramatic, that's why he's such a good writer.
Lefty: Writer?
Poncho: Oh, I'm surprised he didn't send you his screen play for a movie about Earth 2025. It was awesome. There was a train, factions of terrible soldiers fighting for glory, and uniting against a common enemy.
Lefty: Who was the common enemy?
Poncho: Some faction in the center of the city called The Omega.
Lefty: Hahaha! He used netters as the big bad guy?
Poncho: Well he wrote it like 20 years ago. So if we can convince him to write it again...
Lefty: Im more interested in making this place a party. Who can we call? Fingolfin? Wax? Patience? Comwood? Seduction? Bluerain!? WHO CAN WE CALL!?
Poncho: Lefty...Lefty....There's only one group we can call to get things going here.
Lefty: Ghostbusters?
Poncho: No. No. Not the ghostbusters. You know that's a movie right?
Lefty: Darkmere?
Poncho: She just retired...
Lefty: Oh god. It's bleak.
Poncho: Stop! Just stop lefty. You're panicking again! You know you pee your fur when you panic.
Lefty: I don't even have any fur left. It's like a slip and slide now.
*Poncho shudders*
Poncho: Enough about pee! LISTEN! We don't need to call anyone. We can use this space as our HQ!!!! We can set up a video device and run the Lefty and Poncho podcast we always wanted!
Lefty: They didn't have podcasts back then. Back then it was just called "the radio".
Poncho: Right, but podcasts are the new rage!! We can just run our podcast outta here! The Lefty and Poncho: The Furious Ferret Podcast!
We can talk about serial killers. Clowns. Anger. Viral Tik Toks and all sorts of stuff!!!!!
Lefty: I think I like this idea. We can start next week.
Poncho: Ill go get some cameras.

I can only wish for the same superfly.

Most of us are old men. We want 3 things.
Good food. Absolute Silence. And something to kill the time between now and a sweet sweet death.

Detah to netgaining!!!!
umm, oops.. i mean...another classic case of me misreading a room...

Long live netgaining, i mean?

unblock me darkmere. congratulatory hug!

Congrats to all server tags on the tag kill* of SOL/MERCS - sorry we couldn't kill that one purple country for yah.
All in all,

Great war, good fun, very little toxicity.

Not bad if ya ask me.

Good job both sides.

Nice job.

it has been fun not matter what.

By the way, seriously, nice job everybody.

Let's do it again next set, unless you're quitting after this. To which I say....

Don't.

War never changes...

This has been a war. A war that all sides are warring. I want to say you all have done a job in warring this war.
May the rest of your war be war-a-riffic.

Have a day

That is a lot of dirty words.

Shhhh... kids are sleeping.

Pdm....dangerous bunch

Shhhhhhh!!!!

How does one find out how long a discord ban is for?

I would love to join our community in our discord chat, but It seems I cannot access it still.

Confirmed! Good luck Alliance Server!

Sol/Mercs - Good luck whatever you choose to do with your spare time. Enjoy the outdoors. Smell the fresh air. Live your life to the fullest.

Keep

My money was on Riddler.

Doug still hates M4D.
Weird.

So...this is how earth empires dies....with toxic applause...

Dorks. Let's see who can the highest nw already....

Despite all the back and forth ive participated in, I hate watching the game slowly lose long time players.

Agreed.
The old days were the most fun.

Better late than never.

UCN NEWS NETWORK presents: The Late Show with Empy Colbert.

Due to financial reasons, EarthParamount Plus has canceled the late show team server platform. It has been canceled for purely financial reasons. It is losing 24 million dollars a year, and had to pay certain someone 16 million in a defamation settlement. I will not be replaced, they are simply cancelling the Late Show on CBS/Paramount/EarthEmpires, because of money.

I wish you all the best, and for at least the first few years of this server, MKR was glad to call it home when Earth 2025 migrated to EE.
I can say the same for the most recent resets, but thanks to all those darkness guys for working with us for ONE FINAL set of peace between us.
I appreciate you all. Good luck out there, and see yah in the other servers or something sentimental you wish i said placed here.

Goodbye teams.

Empy Colbert

Are you saying there's a double standard in the discord environment?

All i know is, tech for sale! Tech for sale!

I bet it was so offensive it had actual observable data in the argument. Which by the way, if there was actual data, that's not racism, it is now named "facts" .

But i shall wait patiently for the topic, as I did not see for myself.
Perhaps we can have a nice debate over it once we know the context, we would of course have to move it from this particular forum as it should stay game related.

M4d is watching Monsters and RedX fight. That is my official statement. Have a great day and good luck to both sides.

Calling things racist today is like filing an HR complaint everytime someone microwaves fish at work.

It's meaningless.

Half dog, half cat? A cog? Or a dat? or a ditten? or a citten? is that pronounced kitten? Or sitten? A felog? Feline dog?
My children will lift their leg to pee and hide in a box of sand to poop?

Clowns are so weird man.

meow?

Funny part of the entire manifesto, Is that NO leaders of M4D ever took part in any of these conversations. Someone decided to declare that everyone in M4D they spoke to was a leader, even the toilet cleaners they consider "leaders".
I dont get it.

So weird they think Hex is the president of M4D.

If they want to repair relations, I'm free to discuss terms as the self proclaimed FR, IA, War, and Supreme Master Chief President Overlord of M4D

ARCHAIC....
DO IT.

Create it!

This three word story is SO bad....

not banned club. Bonus!

good luck teams.

LCN

Hey SF, look, we know the same guy. We could be friends you and me ya know.

I can't agree more. But some are not lost. I have a bunch from UCN and MKR.

COME BACK!!! Ill start a two man MKR just for you.

Leto, why did you post 123.5 times?

Honestly, I think even some of the bad ones who have paid their dues, and act accordingly afterward, should be able to come back. I mean, Can we really hate a 48 year old person who committed a horrible act when they were 18 for the rest of time? Who's more evil? The 18 year old or the 50 year olds who hate somebody for 20 years?

I mean, if we're in a position to be players of a game that has been around for 30 years.
That means the 18 year old who pooped on the coats and caught a lifetime ban is now 48 with 3 kids pooping on his/her coats. That player should be unbanned if they wish to come back and play.

There are others that have been here for 30 years and maybe said something mean a few times and really went overboard once or twice and caught a lifetime, Give em 6 months to cool off, talk to em, let em back in. I mean, its a minor crime. Threats are part of the internet, and words don't hurt unless you're weak. Just sayin.

I think we should just look at the scale, look at the infractions, decide whether or not time has been served for the infraction committed. We should look at the actual severity of the infractions too, like, racism, religious hate, running multies, big bad no no. Hacking, no no. Bad words and sad faces??? not really great, but like, its just words..so what if they said something mean? Give em a couple months off and tell em to come back when they cool off.

I was definitely trying to recover the MKR account too.

This post isn't dead yet? I just set my teams country to 100% jets (game relevance)...